


The Gods Have a Fucked Up Sense of Humor

by MischiefLavellan



Series: The Gods Have  a Fucked Up Sense of Humor [1]
Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-31
Updated: 2018-08-30
Packaged: 2019-07-04 19:12:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 24,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15847587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MischiefLavellan/pseuds/MischiefLavellan
Summary: A woman watches as her family is ripped from her, then she herself is ripped from her world. When she wakes up, she knows she is no longer home, but can she survive and learn to live in this new world without her family? How will she adapt, to not only changing worlds, but changing races?





	1. Ch 1

They were traveling, Billy, the kids, and herself, driving to Montana to go camping, also to help at the Standing Rock protests. Billy was half Navajo, and there was a family rumor on Kat's side that she was part Cherokee through her mom's dad's side of the family. Either way, they did not want to see the river they were planning to put that pipeline through polluted. It was bad enough the Republicans and their new President elect only cared about money. It scared her, the way the country was going. Thank the gods, the current president wasn't yet out of office. They had a fair few months before the hell began. 

“Billy, do you wonder if things are going to change for the worse quickly once HE takes office?” she asked, trying to keep the fear out of her voice, Arik and Cynthia were in the back seat, she didn't want to scare them.

“Katie,” he stopped taking a breath glancing in the rear view to make sure that even Arik was asleep, “yes, I am scared. You aren't the type of American this idiot likes, being Jewish, and pansexual, and then there is little Cyn, she is handicapped. And we heard him during his run, what he said about the handicapped.” He took another deep breath, “I promise you, he comes after us, my training will not be for nothing.” 

Kat smiled at him, “I love you my soldier.” she said. She was so happy to have him. They had been married for twenty years, had their kids late, but they loved their life. They had pulled the kids from school for this, it was so important to them, and the kids were pretty excited too. Both taking after their parents where environmentality was concerned. She laughed at her thoughts, though she hadn't worked at Disneyland since her son was born, she still maintained the language, environmentality being one of theirs.

“What is so funny?” he asked, glancing at her. 

“Just laughing at myself Sexy, you can take the girl out of Disneyland, but not the Disneyland out of the girl. I was just thinking about how we have instilled a great sense of environmentality in the kids.....” she said laughing again.

“Kat, I was thinking, maybe we should pull over and find a place to camp for the night.” he said glancing in the rear-view again. “Both kids are knocked out, and we need food.” 

Kat nodded at him, “Sure babe.” she looked at her phone, “According to the maps I have on this thing, there is a campsite not that far, and it is only $10 a night for the adults and the kids are free. Looks like there are permanent barbecues set up as well. Good thing we brought coals.” she finished laughing.

Within a half hour they had found the campsite, it was one of the state park sites that let you put the cash in an envelope and drop it in a box. They set up camp rather quickly then woke the kids. Kat made them a quick cold dinner of cold cuts and cheese. They brushed their teeth using bottled water, then she tucked them in, kissing them both goodnight. Arik was cuddling his Eeyore, the boy could never sleep without him, even though he was older. Cindy never slept cuddling more than her parents... even at 7 the child could not sleep alone. Bill and Kat stayed up a little later, talking quietly so as not to wake them. 

Not too much later they climbed into bed themselves, stripping to their undies and slipping into the two person sleeping bag. “Goodnight Sexy, I love you.” 

Bill smiled, “I love you too beautiful.” he kissed her, and they fell asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All hell brakes loose, and Katie suffers a huge loss.

Ch. 2

Kat was woken by a loud noise, wind howling and whipping around them. She scrambled out of the sleeping bag throwing on shirt and her pants quickly, she grabbed the kids close to her and called out for Bill. “Bill! William!!!! Where are you?” he ducked back in the tent and zipped it quickly.

“Katie, we need to go, quickly, these winds, and there looks to be a tornado coming straight at us, but it looks odd.” Her eyes widened in fear, and she looked to the kids.

“Arik, get dressed, help your sister, quickly.” she said as she started to grab bedding and their night bags. She ran everything to the car, the kids were out and Arik helped as much as he could. But they weren't fast enough.

Bill was taken first, the wind whipping around them as he was pulled into the vortex.

“DADDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Cyn screamed before she was ripped out of Kat's arms.

“NOOOOOOOOO! Arik hold on to me baby, hold on tight. Give me Eeyore and wrap your arms around me as hard as you can.” she told him, feeling him wrap around her, she wrapped on arm around him and the other she used to hold on to the back of the van. Eeyore was tucked between them. She was holding on as tight as she could, and she swore she saw arms grab her son and yank him from her, she was holding on so tight she kept Eeyore and part of his shirt. “NOOOOOOOOOOOO” she screamed tears streaming down her face, “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” then she let go. 

The vortex pulled her up and away and she surrendered to it, holding on to Eeyore, who still smelled like her baby boy, and the shirt that was Bills flapping around her. She had a locket with a lock of hair from all three of them around her neck. She closed her eyes, and gave herself over to death. Without them, she was dead inside. 

Solas was standing by the tree Andruil had climbed, “Andruil, Mythal sent me to find you. What are you doing up there?” he asked.

“Uncle Solas, I am scouting. There is an odd wind coming.” she said before scrambling down the tree. “It's coming Uncle Solas, it isn't a normal wind!” she yelped excitedly, running towards the howling vortex headed their way. Solas shook his head before chasing after the young girl. 

“Andruil! Dian!” he shouted, running as fast as he could, he shifted, letting the wolf take over. The faster form soon catching the younger elf. Just then the wind reached them, spinning faster and faster, until suddenly it stopped. 

Andruil stopped, and drew her bow, aiming at the body laying in where the wind had died. Clutched in it's hands was a dirty, gray thing. Solas put a hand on her shoulder, “Dian, melenaan!” he said, as he shifted back to his elvhen form. “Melenaan!” He took a cautious step towards the prone figure on the ground. He reached out to them, not knowing what to expect, and slowly rolled them over. When they, no, she was on her back, he stepped back for a moment in shock. She was badly beaten, covered in scratches and cuts, her arm tightly around what looked like a child's doll now that he could see it, but an oddly shaped one. He tried to pry her arm from around it so he could look at her wounds, “Andruil, run, get your mamae.” he said, she nodded and bolted back towards the palace.

He looked at the woman, not much older than Andruil and Ghi'lan'an'in were. He scooped her up, dirty toy and all, and started to carry her back when he was met by Mythal, “Solas, falon.” she said as she drew near, he handed the girl to her, 

“'Ma falon. The very air brought her to us. She is Elvhen, but she is dressed oddly. And I cannot get her to release that thing in her hand. She is alive, but needs tending. I can visit her dreams once we have healed the most of the damage. Then we can see who she is.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All the Elvhen from Project Elvhen, by Fenxshiral  
> Dian - stop  
> Melenaan - wait  
> Mamae - mother  
> Falon - friend (Only used for good friends)  
> 'Ma - my


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In her dreams Solas learns of Katie and her world, and what she has lost.

Ch3

Solas and Mythal brought her to the infirmary in the palace, and he took his leave as the slaves cleaned her, they had to cut the shirt and pants off of her, and gave her something to relax so they could take the thing she held. As soon as it was away from her, she screamed reaching for it. No one in the room could understand her language, it sounded nonsensical, but what sounded like names were heard in her screams.

They kept the thing near her, touching her once they were done cleaning her wounds, and wiping the dirt from her. It seemed to keep her calm while they healed the damage to her body. It was extensive, and it took days of healing. When it was done they moved her to a bed in the guest quarters, Solas spent weeks dreaming with her, learning who she was, about her world through her dreams. When he woke he would draw what he had seen, two smiling children and a mate who's love shone in his eyes. The bad nights were when he dremt with her, and saw her family ripped from her by the same wind that brought her to him, he shook his head, them. 

“Well Solas, old friend, what have you found. It has been weeks, and still she won't wake.” Mythal said as she walked through the door. He looked up and smiled.

“She isn't from our world, she was a mother and a wife, and she had her family torn from her. That thing she won't let go of even in sleep was her son's, the shirt the healer's cut from her had her bond's scent on it. She won't wake because she cannot face the pain that awaits her when she does.” he told his friend.

Mythal took a breath, “Bless us, her entire family stripped from her, by whom? She is Elvhen is she not?” He nodded in the affirmative, “An Elvhen from another world, is she one of us? An Evanuris?” he nodded again, but this time he looked sad.

“It is as if she entered Uthenera, without the preparation needed to keep herself. I saw her bond-mate get taken, then her asha'lan, then her isha'len. Mythal, he was holding on to her for all he was, and she to him, and arms came out of the wind and tore him from her. Mythal. I felt her heart shatter at that moment, it was breaking, piece after piece. When he was torn from her, she let go, closed her eyes and accepted death. But whatever took her family, did not grant it. She is willing herself to die.”

He stopped and looked in Mythal's golden eyes, there he saw sympathy for the girl. “Solas, bring her back to us. Do not just watch my friend, draw her out.” 

He nodded, “Yes Mythal. After I get some rest, I will begin.” She nodded and left the room. He settled himself down for some restful sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uthenera -the sleep ancient elves would enter to rejuvenate their minds and souls
> 
> Sorry it was so short, the first few are just set up


	4. Ch 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Solas makes contact, tries to wake her, bring her out of her self imposed exile.

The next day Solas started slowly approaching her in the fade. At first she pushed him out, screaming at him in a language he didn't understand. He found her holding her family, spirits of hope, of love, of compassion, singing to her children, kissing their heads. He tried to get her attention for days, then the days became weeks, finally he decided to try something. He had seen her singing to her children, so the next time he visited her dreams, he sung to her. He sang softly at first, and then a little louder, she seem to start to hear him, swaying to the rhythm of the songs he sung. Finally he saw her lift her head and look at him, seeing him for the first time. The spirits around her imitating her bond-mate and children scattered when she acknowledged him, he looked closer at her, and was saddened by what he saw, her eyes were dark and bruised. Even here in her dreams, she radiated sadness and loss.

“Atisha da'lan.” he said, holding his hands out in front of him. 

She shook her head at him, “Vara. Vara u'em. Ame din da'lan. Ame Mamae” she choked out. “VARA!” she screamed it, thinking she was dreaming, she saw his ears, long and tapered, sticking out of reddish brown dreadlocks, but she still didn't know who he was. She thought he was a construct in her mind.

Solas was in shock, “Dirtha Elvhen?” he asked her. 

“Some. What I read in a book, on the internet. Just for fun. Learn a pretend language, teach Arik how to tell the bullies to kiss his ass without getting into trouble. The curse words, and some sexual ones. You know the easy ones.”

Solas turned to the spirits and asked them to act as translators between her odd language and his. Wisdom came to the rescue, and touched his head, so that he could understand her, “Sathan.” he said to her, she nodded. She touched his forehead, and the girl's odd language flowed into him, he could teach her Elvhen when she awoke.

“What is your name?” he asked the girl, woman, he reminded himself. 

“Katarina.” she answered, “But I don't want to be anymore. Kat is gone, she died with her family.” she choked on the last word. “I can't be her anymore. But since you asked, you have a name to call me, wanted or no, what is your name Ser?” she asked.

“I am Solas.” he said, her eyes widened in shock.

“No, you can't be, you have hair... Solas doesn't have hair. An egg head.. Ha ha ha. No, where am I? When am I?” she asked him, shaking her head... “No this isn't right.. if I am here, and you are he, it should be 9:40 Dragon... not.. WHEN AM I?”

He looked at her, “I have no hair, what is 9:40 Dragon? You are in Arlathan my lady, and I have never been bald.” She backed up, reflexively, this was the Dread Wolf, and he was in her dreams. She instinctively knew she was dreaming. She summoned the shade of her son's Eeyore to her and cuddled him to her chest. “What is that thing?” Solas asked her. 

“His name is Eeyore. And he was my son's from the time he was two days old. And he is all I have left of him, besides my locket.” Solas nodded, they had not taken the locket off of her. It looked old, and was gold, and looked valuable.

“What is in the locket?” he asked.

“A lock of hair from each of my lost loves, and a small picture of the three of them.” She smiled then, “I have lost them forever. Why won't you let me die?” 

“Ah lady, I cannot. You are one of the People, an Evanuris like us. We are so rare, that we cannot let you go.”

At that she broke, her emotions flowing like a river breaking free from a damn. Kat collapsed to her knees screaming wordlessly, some of the screams sounded like a wolf howling in pain, tears streaming down her face. And Solas, who spurned physical contact, rushed to her. He gathered her into his arms and held her as she wept. This woman who had for weeks been holding back all her emotions, seemingly feeling nothing, keeping up the appearance of calm. For weeks he had tried to reach her, but she had been locked in a bubble, a memory of before she lost everything. She had not allowed herself to accept that they were gone, that she was somewhere else, that she was alone. And this man, Solas, made her face it. He felt guilty about it, but knew it needed to be done. She had to face it, she had to grieve, or she would not live, and he wanted her to live, Mythal wanted her to live, though he didn't know why.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Atisha da'lan - peace child  
> Vara. Vara u'em. Ame din da'lan. Ame Mamae - Go. Go away and leave me alone. I am not a child, I am a mother.  
> VARA - GO  
> Dirtha Elvehn? - Do you speak Elvhen?


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Getting to why she won't wake, a plan is hatched between Mythal and Solas

Solas awoke shaken by what happened in her dream. He had no idea how much longer Katarina would sleep for. He got up quickly to break his fast, then he needed to think. He now believed that the only way for her to wake up was to give her a new name. But he had no idea where to start to give her one. He did know that he had to find Mythal and tell her what had happened. 

He found her in her garden, “Mythal.” she looked up at him.

“Solas, any change in our newest Evanuris?” 

“Yes and no. She is finally mourning the loss of her family. She finally let herself go, but I do not think that will be enough for her to awaken. She has asked me why I do not let her die, and told me her name is Katarina, Kat, but she does not want it. She cannot live as Kat in a world where they do not exist.”

Mythal's eyes softened, “Have you told your brother and the others about her?” 

“No, Andruil is the only other who knows of her existence, and she has kept it to herself. I do not know why.”

“My daughter has spoken to me, and I have asked her not to tell her father. Can you connect me with her tonight? Perhaps I should try to bring her to the waking world. I will give her a new name.”

Solas was surprised, “Certainly my friend, but, she knew my name. Both of them, the one Elgar'nan is starting to bandy about as an insult, the one that Ghilan'nain and June whisper behind my back. The only ones not to say it are Andruil, Sylaise, and Dirthamen. I know not what to do.” he said. “She startled me last night, told me things about a time named Dragon. About me being hairless, and again being known as Solas, not Fen'Harel. Mythal, I believe she has seen the future. Just be wary.”

“Worry not old friend. I know how to be cautious in dreams, I was taught by the best.” she said, smiling at him, “I will see you tonight, to discuss a name, then we will dream together in her dream.”

She left to speak with Elgar'nan, while Solas took some time to search out his nephew. “Dirth, may we speak?” he asked when he found them. Dirthamen turned and smiled at his uncle.

“Certainly Uncle, though if it is about the girl, no she doesn't have sight as I do. She saw on her world. Do not worry.” he said as he caught the look of alarm on Solas' face. “I will not tell father nor Falon'Din about her, she would be perceived as a threat to them, and rightly so. She is a threat to all of us with her knowledge, but also a boon. Right now she is a wounded wolf, mourning the loss of her mate and cubs, but when she is done, she will be a force of will that none here have encountered before.” He looked at his uncle, “Uncle, are you developing feelings for her?” he asked before closing his eyes and looking through the strands of time. When he opened them he laughed, “She will fight it. Choose others to hide from it. And she won't be yours for many many years.” he nodded, Solas sighed, and Dirth continued. “My mother will not allow you to name her, you know this. So after the fighting is done, compromise. You are the only one she will compromise with, give her two names, she is used to that. Katarina Hettie Fischer Woods, her first name, middle, maiden, and married. She would appreciate two names over one. It would make her feel more normal, but whatever you do, do not remove the donkey from her.”

“Donkey? What is a Donkey?” 

Dirthamen laughed, “Her son's Eeyore, he is an animal called a donkey from her home. He is a character from a book. And that particular Eeyore was her son's best friend and had been with him since he was 2 days old. It carries Arik's spirit, and a part of his essence.”

Solas nodded, clasping his nephew on the shoulder, “You know what I have planned, don't you?” he asked, Dirth nodded, “I need you to get far away, I do not want you caught in it's web.” 

“Uncle, I will share the fate of my brother, he is not perfect, and too much like our father, but, I cannot let him face this alone. And there is a small chance you will not have to use it. If we can make them see sense.” Dirthamen took a breath, “Uncle I have a worry. Andruil has taken to hunting the Forbidden Ones, she said normal prey was boring, and those from the dark are more challenging. She will lose herself if she continues down this path.” When Solas looked in his eyes he saw the worry there, “Uncle, I cannot lose my sister to the dark. You are the only one she listens to, but I believe that is because she loves you. The others will accept Kat, they accepted Ghilan'nain, but they need to believe she is of this world first. And that you have no interest in her. You need to bury it uncle, or Father will see it, and try to kill her to hurt you.”

Solas nodded, “Good thing you and I are the only ones aware. I cannot have her, Dirth, she loves a man who will never come back to her. He was taken from her, and she isn't getting him back. I would be a poor replacement for a bond mate. That being the case, Elgar'nan will never find out, I will not admit something that is impossible.” 

Dirth just nodded, with an odd smile. “You better meet Mother soon. You know how she is, remember, let her have the first name then tell her of Katarina's world and their two names. Then Katarina will have a name she would willingly use later.”

The said their farewells and Solas left to find Mythal, and begin what was looking like a long argument.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I know it is boring so far, set up often is...   
> Please be patient with me. Kate does pull out of her funk, though, losing everyone will weigh on her.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arguing over names, they remind me of new parents.. it is kind of cute.

“Mythal, have you thought of a name?” he asked as he approached her.

“I have, I was thinking she arrived in a storm wind, did she not. What of the name Ashalantarasylnin?”

Solas scoffed, “No I think not, why not a name more befitting her soul, like Alnifena?”

“You would name her for a wolf? Let me guess all your names for her are wolf ones. I think not, Elgadira.”

“Din, Ashara. It is fitting is it not. She has been on a very long journey so far.”

“True, but if you do not like the first two, what of Idrilla? From what you saw in her memories in her dreams, she is quite the little rebel.”

“You are right, most of the names I have chosen for her are wolf related, when she let it go, when she cried and screamed in my arms in her dream, she howled, I heard the voice of the wolf in her cries. I have also chosen, Fennas, Fen'an, and Fenina, as well as Sulenelanera, I got to her through music after all.”

Mythal thought for a moment, “Ah Solas, you and your wolves, I have thought of a few more, Irosy, Laisa, Sabelas, and Taralani” 

“I need to tell you of her world, there they have three names. The name others call them, a second name, hidden from all but family, and a family name, which can be kept or supplanted by the bond mate's name if the person is female.”

“So what you are telling me is she will need two names, and you want to give one of them. Am I correct?” Solas nodded, “Very well then, what say you, we name her Irosy?”

“Mythal... Her name is Katarina Hettie, Irosy is not going to be something she accepts, especially as it will remind her of the wind that stole her children.” 

“Very well Solas, what do you think we should name her?” 

Solas smiled at her, “What think you of Taralani Fen'an?”

Mythal laughed, “Sky child with a heart of a wolf. Her name makes a sentence, you think she would approve?” He nodded at her smiling back, “Very well then, let us go tell her then and see if that will bring the child home.”

They made themselves comfortable on cushions on either side of the sleeping girl, “Remember Solas, come for me first.” 

“As if I need reminding Mythal, we have done this before.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All the names come from Fenxshiral's Project Elvhen Book of Names


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kate gets a new name and makes a decision

Solas walked to where Mythal was waiting for him, “Are you ready my friend?” he asked her, when she nodded, he clasped her hand with his and pulled her forward with him. Mythal thought to herself it was like walking through a dense forest that was constantly raining. The feeling of the child's dream space was soft and comforting, but also heavy with a wet feeling. Solas stopped suddenly when they heard a child's laugh, “Ah this again.” he said motioning for Mythal to watch. There she was looking very human, with a tall man and two very beautiful children. “Even in this form, her ears slightly point, do you see it?” he asked her.

“I do Solas. Does that mean she was half or even part elvhen on her earth?” she asked.

“She said the elvhen had been bred out before her time, now they are only fairy stories and legends.”

“That is sad,” she said shaking her head, “mayhap she has the blood of the people and that is why when brought here she became Elvhen.” 

“Perhaps, but first let interrupt before the dream makes her relive the nightmare.” 

He walked into the wooded clearing where she was playing with her kids while her mate looked on. “Katarina.” he said softly as he walked towards her, Mythal not far behind.

“Solas, hello. Why are you here?”

“I brought a friend to meet you, Katarina this is Mythal.” He watched the same reaction she had hearing his name cross her face, but this time it was tinged with sadness.

“Ah, it hasn't happened yet then. Andaran atish'an Mythal, I am Katarina, though I wish that name no longer. These are my family, my nas'falon Bill, da'Isenatha, Arik, and da'Tarlinydha, Cynthia. My life, I would like you to meet Mythal and Solas.” she said, the spirits who were acting as her family all bowed and said hello, playing their parts. 

“Katarina, what hasn't happened yet?” Solas asked, worry in his voice.

She grinned at him rather cheekily, “Spoilers.” 

Mythal shook her head, “Are we to assume that means you cannot tell us?” Katarina nodded, “Why are you here? Why can you not let me go? I am no Evanuris, I am no elf. I am just a broken woman who wants to be with her family.” she said as the shades of her family slipped away again. She collapsed on the ground sobbing. “Bringing her here will not change how I feel Solas.” she said quietly.

Mythal watched as her old friend walked to the woman and held her, she burrowed her face in his chest and sobbed, then pulled herself away wiping her eyes. 

“Solas told me you no longer wanted your name. I was wondering if we might rename you. Welcome you to Elvenan, Arlathan specifically. Could you wake, join us with a new name? A birth into a new world?” Mythal asked. 

Kat looked at Solas, searching his eyes with hers, “Is this what you want? To make me live with my grief, my heart in shattered pieces. I know not if I can heal from this.” she said quietly. 

For a moment he forgot that Mythal was there with them, he kissed her forehead, “Katarina, you can not know until you try. And if you do not come back, who will look after that dirty thing that came with you, that Eeyore. The servants have to be stopped daily so as not to burn it.”

She pulled back, “Eeyore is here, I have part of Arik with me!” Looking at Mythal, “What name would you give me, to replace my human one?” Solas blushed remembering finally that his old friend was there and stepped away further from Kat.

“Well da'lan, Solas and I together came up with a name for you. When you are introduced to the family, as my adopted daughter, your name will be Taralani Fen'an.”

“Two names, how did you know?” the newly named Taralani asked.

“Dirthamen, he knows Mythal, but he has sworn to keep the secret. We were idiots to think he would not know. The Keeper of Secrets.”

Mythal smiled, “My friend, that is one son I will always be sure of. His brother however, he has grown more and more blood thirsty, trying to make his father be proud of him. Falon has lost his way, and the more he loses it the more Elgar'nan laughs. My daughters Ghilan'nain and Andruil are as different as could be, and Andruil is losing herself to the darkness the Forbidden  
Ones possess as she hunts them without thought or care. My bright beautiful girl is going mad from the power they possess.” 

“What of Sylaise and June? Would they keep my secret, are they to be friend or possible foe. Do not think I do not know how Elgar'nan hates and fears his brother, how he would strike me down to hurt him if he but knew of the tenderness Solas has shown me here in this world of dreaming. I know I know more than I should, but in my world, this one is a fantasy, something we would visit to escape the horrid reality of ours. I fell in love with people I never thought I would meet, men and women, and Bill, Gods rest and keep him, would laugh and ask me if I could meet them, what would I say or do. He gave me leave to be with any of the men, but now that I am here, and they are so very far in the future... Even if they were here, I do not know that I could take pleasure from that, or them.” She stopped and took a breath, “If Falon'Din and Andruil are as far from themselves as you say, you should prepare.” was all she would say to Mythal.

“Dawn approaches, Taralani, we should awaken soon. Will you be joining us?” Solas asked apprehensively.

He saw a small smile on her face before she answered, still sad, but present, “I can't very well leave Eeyore alone and at risk of fire, can I?” 

They all laughed at that, and then one by one they faded from her dreamscape, Kat, Tara, looked around. “Goodbye my loves, I will never forget you. Always will you be with me, for and forever. I love you all so very much.” then she closed her eyes on the dream world, and opened them in the waking for the first time in two months.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Andaran Atish'an - welcome to this place of peace  
> nas'falon - husband  
> da'Isenatha - little dragon  
> da'Tarlinydha - little owl  
> da'lan - child (girl)


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> da'lan - child  
> Ir abelas - I'm sorry  
> Falon - good friend

Taralani tried to sit up when she woke, and found she couldn't. “Peace Taralani, you have been asleep for two months now. It will take some time for strength to return to you.” Solas said.

She tried to speak and her throat was horse, Solas gave her herbal water to help. She nodded her thanks, and drank it. Trying again, her voice came out in a whisper, “How am I alive after two months?” she asked. 

He smiled at her, “We have been giving you a mix of honey, herbs, and water to sustain your body. It was slowly dripped into your mouth and you reflexively swallowed it. It was enough to sustain you.”   
Just then a servant appeared carrying a tray, on it was a plate full of fruit and cheeses, with a small pitcher of wine. She looked at it, “Is water not safe then?” she asked, realizing she had been asleep for two months, and then hadn't really had alcohol in a very long time before that. 

Mythal laughed, “Is wine not to your liking?” 

Taralani shook her head, “It isn't that, it is just...” she took a breath, “Wine isn't so commonplace back home. I haven't had it in a very long time, and I am unsure what it will do to me.”

Solas and Mythal chuckled at that answer, “Worry not da'lan, it is not strong wine, it will not effect you as you worry it will.” Mythal said gently. Taralani took a small sip of it, and was surprised by the slightly sweet crisp taste. It reminded her of a Moscato from Italy, or a Riesling from Germany, it made her smile a sad smile, it was the type of wine Bill would have loved. She took bite of the cheese, it was soft and melted on her mouth, the fruit was perfectly ripe, and the crusty bread was to die for. Before she knew it more tears were falling, this time in the waking world.

“Ir abelas, I was thinking of my bonded, he would have loved this wine. And my son would have loved the cheese and bread. My daughter would have devoured all my fruit before I could have eaten any. I miss them. It is as if a piece of my heart has died, and I have no idea if it will heal.”

They nodded, “It is alright Taralani, it will be fine. Take your time, what is it you like to do?” asked Mythal, making Taralani think. 

She looked at the other woman, “You are beautiful. I'm sorry I just had to say that. I can understand Elgar'nan's jealousy of his brother and yours friendship.” she shook her head, “Men are very stupid sometimes. But that isn't what you asked me, I like to read, draw badly, sing, write stories, crochet, and swim. Those are my hobbies, though the crochet is actually my employment. I make jewelry and sew as well as embroider and cross stitch.” 

Solas started at the words “draw badly” he looked at her, “What do you mean you draw badly?” he asked.

“Oh just that, I draw badly. I can draw things in nature, or make believe characters, but if I try to draw a person, it comes out horribly. But I have been known to think poorly of myself on more than one occasion. It used to drive Bill crazy, but he was the artist. He could draw or paint anything... even my favorite animal.”

“What is your favorite animal?” asked Mythal knowing this would tell a lot about the girl in front of them.

“Wolves, followed by horses and ravens.. I wish I could fly. I used to dream I sprouted wings, big black feathered wings that would carry me up among the clouds. I know it is stupid.” she shook her head, “I used to have a wolf, well he was mostly wolf having been bred with a dog. I miss him, he has been gone a long while, and I had a shaman once tell me that on the dream plains I show up either as a tall beautiful elf in silver armor, or a tall wolf.” she touched her ears, “Apparently the elf part came true, don't know about tall or beautiful, but those are definitely elf ears.” 

Mythal and Solas looked at each other, “We will let you rest, tomorrow a healer will come to work with you, bring you up to health so you can walk and be among others.” she said, before grabbing Solas' hand and walking out the door. 

“Falon, we will have to keep an eye on her. She is different, and for now, broken from the transition.”

Solas nodded his head, he definitely wanted to get to know her better.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taralani who was Kate is getting used to life in Arlathan, she is fitting in, still not mingling with anyone other than Mythal who takes up her magical training, because of course she is a mage.

It took another month before she was healthy enough to walk in the gardens, Solas would watch her walk without foot wraps through the grass and sigh in pleasure as she ran a hand among the flowers, breathing in their scent. He started leaving sheafs of paper and writing charcoals where she would find them, and watch as she sketched the flowers. Making notes in her language of what they were called, and musing out loud how different they were from home. She spoke to healers about the different healing herbs, what should be used for what ailments, writing notes so that she didn't forget. 

He would follow discreetly behind her as she left the grounds for the forest, sketching all the plants and animals she saw there. She had an eye for the detail of a birds wing that made him smile. Thinking she was alone she would sing songs from her world, and her voice made Solas want to teach her the songs from his. “Black bird singin' in the dead of night. Take these broken wings and learn to fly, all your life, you were always waiting for this moment to arrive. Black bird singin' in the dead of night, take these sunken eyes and learn to see, all your life you were only waiting for this moment to be free. All your life, black bird fly, black bird fly...” the song went on and he sensed a deeper meaning to it. Her song touched him. From that day forward, he would follow her, until she was ready to speak, then he would answer any question this strange otherworlder had for him.

He would go back to his rooms and paint what her songs had shown him, he didn't tell Mythal of her songs, or that he had arranged one of the music masters to meet her in the gardens and talk to her. Everyday, Tara as she was asking to be called, found new dresses for her, simple but beautiful, and elaborate combs for her hair. It had gotten so long, she assumed it was due to the healthy food and clean air and water on this world. Nothing yet to pollute it all. Tara dreamt of the ocean, she wanted to swim in the waves. While walking in the garden one day she discovered she was a mage, quite by accident, she had found a bird, it looked sick and couldn't fly. So she picked it up, a blue energy came from her, and the bird sat up, then flew away. Mythal came that night, to talk to her, from then on, she would be learning from her how to use her magic.

When she wasn't learning about the history and stories of the Elvhen, or playing in the kitchens, she would raid the library for books to take to the garden to read, she was becoming fluent in the language, to read and write it. She had read something that reminded her of the Haunted Mansion at Disneyland, so she began singing about Grim Grinning Ghosts.

“Do ghosts grin?” Mythal asked from behind her.

“OH!” Tara exclaimed, “I am so sorry, it is from my world... a place people go for fun, Disneyland. I miss it, and...” she stopped. “I know others, but they were songs I would sing for and with my babies.. it is hard to sing them now. There is always tears. Heck most of my singing these days result in tears, every song I know is connected to my husband and kids... We sung together, danced together, music was part of us.”

“I understand, but here comes someone who wishes to speak with you.” she said, and walked to another part of the garden.

“My lady, I am Lahnehn, I am the music master of Arlathan. I have listened to your songs, but recognize none of them. I have noticed singing them makes you sad, might I teach you of our songs?” he asked her, she nodded. “If you would like I can teach you to play an instrument as well.” Tara felt like Yule had come early. 

“Truly?” she asked, and when he nodded in affirmative, she grinned and bounced excitedly on the balls of her feet. “When can we start good ser?” she asked

“We can begin tomorrow.” he replied, and Tara couldn't help herself she hugged him. Solas watched all this from the nook above the garden he usually stood on when she was out there and felt a pang of jealousy. She was so free with everyone, but him. He knew he shouldn't be jealous, yes he cared about the outworlder, but he did not feel love for her. Not in the way that should result in these feelings he was experiencing. And he knew that if the others even suspected how he felt, she would be in danger. And he could not allow that, not after all they did to make sure she wanted to live. He could sense her magic, wild and untamed, and wondered what it would become, wanted to be the one to teach her control of it, but knew that was impossible. Mythal was her teacher, he could not interfere.

Tara was learning quickly, absorbing everything Mythal and Lahnehn taught her, almost faster than they could teach her. Both brought in others to help, teach her things that they didn't know, Mythal asked Solas to teach her his magic, since her dreams were so vivid and she could change them at will, Mythal thought she might be a dreamer. He didn't think she was, what she was was different. “Mythal she isn't a dreamer like me, but she can dream vividly, she is something,” he paused thinking, “different. I am thinking it is because, though she claims there is no magic in her world, at least not the kind we know, this is magic from her world. It is just behaving differently because she is now in ours. I am looking forward to seeing where her magic goes, she has the energy of a healer, but also of something else.” They talked for hours about Tara, even about her preference to be called Tara over the entirety of her name. 

This went on for a year, a year of her learning how to be an elf, an ancient elf, even. And this was after 40 years as a human from Earth. Learning to be herself finally, and now she was someone else. In the hours when others weren't around, she would sing quietly the songs she had sung to her kids, the song she considered Bill's and her song. And she would cry, she would fall apart, then chastise herself because she knew Bill would want her to be happy, so she let it go. She made herself stop, so that she could present a happy face on the morrow. She would snuggle into her bed with Eeyore, and breathe in the smell of him, falling asleep with tears still streaming. Not knowing that Solas was watching, from behind a hidden door, and his heart was breaking watching her.

Mythal teased Solas about his affections for the girl, and he denied having anything beyond a friendly kind of love for her. To which Mythal responded, “And that my dearest friend is why you are unhappy, you refuse to admit any sort of feeling for her.” He started to protest, when the door burst open, “Mamae, Uncle Solas, come quick!” Dirthamen said, breathing heavily. 

“Dirth what is it?” Solas asked, “Are you alright?” 

“Vin, uncle, I am fine, but Tara, you need to see this.”

The three of the ran, Solas and Mythal following Dirth to the edge of the forest, “Where are we going Dirth?” he asked.

“Just ahead, I guess she had time, she wandered out here all alone, I saw she would, but I didn't see this.” They entered the forest more slowly than they had arrived, Solas moving as silently as the wind, whilst Dirth and Mythal had to move more carefully and still made some sound. Solas gasped when he saw her, she was half laying on the ground playing with black wolf pups. They were climbing on her and nipping at her, while their mother lay just beyond watching peacefully, showing no sign of alarm at the Elvhen woman playing with her pups. Mythal looked at her son, and smiled, pointing at the look on Solas' face. He nodded, and together they took their leave.

“She likes you.” Solas said to Tara quietly. Tara started not expecting to hear another voice besides that of the wolves. “Ir abelas, I did not mean to startle you.” he said “May I sit with you?” 

Tara smiled at him, “Vin.” she was scratching behind one pups ear making it wiggle as the others licked at her and played with each other. “You think she likes me, or just tolerates me playing with her babies? Maybe she knows I am a mommy who lost her babies, and so she is sharing with me. You never know, they are very smart are wolves, never let anyone tell you different. They are my favorite animal, always have been.” When she finished talking Solas watched the mother wolf walk up to her and rub her head against Tara's, he watched as Tara's face lit up like she had just been given the best gift in the world, then as Tara wrapped her arms around the she wolf's neck and hugged her tightly. “Me too mamma, me too.”

They spent the rest of the afternoon there, playing with puppies and learning about each other, Tara realized this was the Solas before Mythal's murder, this was a happy carefree Solas, who had not set the veil and trapped his kin. She liked this Solas, quick to laugh, to smile. She was happy that if the Gods sent her anywhere, it was to now and here. Not later. She caught herself staring at him, laughing as the pups did something incredibly silly. She made mental note of how his face lit up when she sang to the pups, one of the songs Lahnehn had taught her, and howled along with them in harmony. 

“Solas, I just realized, with all of the lessons, and getting settled, it has been a year hasn't it?” she asked. He just nodded at her, not wanting to say anything in case it was the wrong thing. “Gods, I have been here a year, without them.” she said, her hand automatically going to the necklace around her neck. It was old, having been her grandmother's, but she treasured it like it was the crown jewels. The tears slowly running down her cheeks again, silent and pain filled, “Not a day goes by I do not think of them, not a minute where my heart doesn't constrict and most of me wishes to join them. My heart was sundered, it will never be whole. Solas, lethal'lin, how can I live if I am not whole?” 

His heart hurt to hear the pain in her voice, to see the tears fall, “Taralani, lethal'lan, sathan. I am here, he said finally and keeping an eye on the one pup who wouldn't leave her side, he slid next to her and hugged her to him. “Cry, it is alright, eventually the pain will fade, and you will always have your memories of them. Look at me.” she lifted her head from his chest, her green eyes, now a pale blue swam with tears, “you are a beautiful, smart woman. They would not want you to give up.” he touched her necklace, “You carry their visage here, and their memory,” he touched her chest in the middle, “here. And they will forever live there, for as long as you live.” 

She bit her lip, then kissed him lightly on the cheek, “Serannas lethal'lin. I know, I should not...” she stopped taking a breath, “I do not know why I am crying. It has been a year, one would think, or not. I lost my bondmate and my children, he was my everything, my heart, my friend, my falon'saota, my Anam Cara.” 

“Anam cara?”

“Soul mate, the second half of one's self. It isn't always your mate, sometimes it is a best friend.”

Solas nodded, “Come, Mythal plans to present you as the newest Evanuris to the others tonight at a ball.” 

Her eyes grew wide, “Solas, I can't, I am not, how can I be?”

“You came to us as one of us, we have given you this year. One year to learn, she has hidden you from Elgar'nan and the others, Andruil knows as does Dirthamen”

“Try to keep something from that one. Hello Gael.” she said looking up,

Solas quirked an eyebrow, “You can tell the difference between Gael and Harelos?”

She smiled, “Vin Solas, Gael's beak is slightly sharper, and he has a white pin feather in his right wing. He spies on me often, I think he is bored.”  
Solas noticed her eyes were slowly returning to green, the color of grass in spring, with a darker rim of green around the outside, and golden flecks like sunlight dotting them. He shook himself, now was not the time to give in to those feelings.

“Will you come tonight then, as it is in your honor?” 

She nodded, biting her lip, “Though I have nothing to wear, I will be there.” 

“Then let us return to the palace, I am sure Mythal has something planned to present her newest daughter.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vin -yes  
> Ir abelas - I'm sorry  
> Lethal'lan/Lethal'lin - cousin, kin  
> Sathan - please  
> Serannas - thanks  
> Falon'saota - Soul Mate  
> Gael and Harelos - Dirthamen's Ravens Fear and Deceit


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tara is introduced to the other Evanuris, kind of a presentation party

Tara looked at herself in the glass, and shook her head, she did not recognize herself. The servants had helped her into the dress, it was ice blue with silver embroidery on it. It looked like whorls of wind, and ice. Her make up was subtle, and her hair had been braided and swept back, somehow given volume, with glittering gem covered hair clips the ran throughout it. The biggest surprise was the ear cuffs, silver with gems sewn in patterns, and the wraps on her feet matched the dress perfectly. 

“Thank you, but, this isn't me.” she said as Mythal walked into the room. 

“My dear, this is you, this is who you are supposed to be, why else would you have been brought to us?” she looked at Tara, who's hand immediately went to her locket, and her eyes shone with unshed tears. “Now, now Taralani, don't cry, you look beautiful, and we wouldn't want to ruin your make up.” 

That made Tara laugh, the first true laugh Mythal had heard from her. “Ir abelas, you are right. Bill would yell at me, tell me to knock it off. He always told me if something happened to him, he would want me to move on, be happy. It is just, Mythal, part of my soul has been ripped away, not just Bill, but also Arik and Cyn. It is healing my friend, just slowly.”

“Do I really look beautiful?” she asked, biting her bottom lip.

“Vin, why would you not think that?” 

Tara just shook her head and smiled, “Never mind.”

“Shall we go?” she asked.

“I will go ahead, a servant will come get you when it is time for you to make your entrance. Be well da'lan, and don't forget to smile.”

Tara shook her head, and looked at the looking glass again, “Guess it's time to man up.” she said in English. 

A while later there was a knock at her door. “Yes?” she asked, opening it. It was a servant.

“M'lady it is time.” he said, extending his arm forward and leg back as he bowed. 

“Let us be off then.” Tara took a long slow breath and let it out. She was more nervous than on her wedding day, at least then she knew everyone there loved her. She was scared of Elgar'nan and the others, but she was adamant not to show it. 

She walked with the servant to the double doors that lead into the ballroom, and she swallowed reflexively, “Okay Tara, you can do this. Come on chickie!” she muttered to herself. She heard Mythal announce her and swallowed hard.

“And now Elgar'nan, my family, I present to you, Taralani Fen'nan our newest Evanuris. She was brought to us on a swirling wind, a blessed addition to our family.”

She took another breath and opened the door, walking in slowly and with a practiced grace. Her eyes wide as she took in the sights of the ball room, Elgar'nan seated in the highest seat at the middle of the table, Mythal standing next to him. She saw the others, Solas seated at one end, and Andruil at the other, nodding her greeting to the two of them, she stepped forward and dropped into a curtsy. 

“Thank you Lady Mythal for the introduction, I am pleased to meet all of you, it is a great honor.” she said. Elgar'nan bowed his head to her, while the others nodded in succession. 

“The pleasure is mine, Taralani. If I may why two names?”

“It is a tradition where I am from Ser.” 

“And where is that” asked Ghilan'nain from two seats down.

“Terra. I am from Terra. It is a long way from here, and I cannot go back. The wind that brought me here was a one way trip.” Ghilan'nain nodded, and motioned to her father.

“Please Taralani, sit by me.” he said graciously, indicating a seat on his right. 

“'Ma serannas ma'tarlen.” He smiled broadly at her as she came to sit next to him.

While she spoke with him, answering his questions, Solas watched under hooded eyes. When Tara had walked into the ball room, her dress flowing around her and the clips in her hair sparkling, it was all he could do to keep his composure. She was beautiful, and graceful, and he fumed as his brother tried to lay claim on her. 

“Careful Uncle, bury that before Father sees it.” said a voice behind him.

“Dirth, I am doing nothing.”

Dirth smiled at him, “I can tell what you are thinking, as can he if he looks, bury it please. So she is safe.”

Solas nodded and schooled himself to look indifferent to his brother's machinations.

They were talking quietly at the end when Elgar'nan spoke up, “Solas!” he called making his brother look up questioningly. “The child does not know how to use weapons, I want you to train her in your style, it seems it would fit her well.” 

Tara looked at Solas her eyes wide, she had known that he knew weapons, even if you never saw him use them. But now, he had always been one of her video game crushes, even going so far to dream about kissing him, and waking up feeling it. This was going to be hard, when she kissed his cheek, she tasted his skin on her lips for hours, it made her feel warm and safe. She like that he held her when she needed it, and if she were honest with herself, she cared for him.

“Ma'tarlen, are you sure Ser?” she asked, biting her lip, “I am not sure I would be good with weapons.” 

Elgar'nan laughed, “Da'lan, he is one of my best warriors, and he uses not only a staff, but can use swords as well. His weapon of choice is a smaller sword than my son Falon'Din prefers. And if you would like, Andruil!” 

“Vin babae?” 

“Teach her your archery skill.”

“Vin babae.” she smiled at Tara, “We will start tomorrow.” 

Tara nodded, and turned to ask Solas when he would like to train her when she realized he was right in front of her.

“Tara, vyn alas'niremah i'em?” he asked, she looked at him, eyes wide and nodded. Solas looked to Elgar'nan, “I can more accurately see how she will adapt to weapons training within the dance.” he said to cover his motivations.

Tara's face fell a fraction at that, of course he wanted to evaluate her, why would he want to just dance. She sighed softly, and let him lead her to the dance floor where Dirth was dancing by himself, slowly moving his body in a way she had never seen before. 

Solas initiated the dance, “I wanted to talk to you where they couldn't hear.” he said, “I did want to dance with you, who wouldn't with you looking like you do.” she smiled shyly at him, “I will start your martial training on the morrow as well as Andruil, you will go with her in the morning, but your afternoons will be mine.” 

“Vin Solas,” she bit her lip and swallowed, his eyes automatically going to where her teeth pressed into her lip, “Is this a good idea, for me to learn weapons? Why haven't you taught me before?” 

“That is a good question, because we wanted you to fit in without suspicion. I am surprised that Elgar'nan himself did not want you to train with him, or Falon. They are the warriors, I can use a sword, and well, but--” he stopped and licked his lips, “--maybe they are right, and you will be better suited to my type of fighting style.” 

They danced another two dances talking, then he walked her back to her seat at the table and excused himself, citing a need to find Tara weapons and armor for the morrow, he asked Andruil to join him. They would plan together her training.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ir abelas - I am sorry  
> 'Ma serannas ma'tarlen - my thanks my lord  
> Da'lan - child  
> Vin - yes  
> Babae - father  
>  vyn alas'niremah i'em - will you dance with me


	11. Chapter 11

Tara spent another six months studying with Solas and Andruil, how to use swords, staff, and bow and arrow. She learned how to throw knives from Andruil as well, and how to combine sword and staff. Mythal had presented her with a wand that grew into the size of a staff, and back again. Her mind immediately went to Felassan, and she shut it down.” As she studied her dreams of home and her family began to fade, she could still see their faces when she needed in the fade, and she often sat looking at the faces of her family in her locket, but she didn't cry as often. 

When she wasn't learning how to fight, she made friends with the spirit librarians when she got books. Elgar'nan and Falon'din would occasionally watch while she sparred with Solas as she got better, but the days they weren't there, Solas was open and friendly, they would talk as they sparred, as he taught. He would lightly place his hands on her, correcting her stances, and her skin would tingle for hours. 

Tara chalked it up to being without for so long, and would take care of herself when the need arose. She bathed in the private baths that connected to her rooms, and she dressed in simple leathers for training. She had forgotten the legends, the stories, that the Dread Wolf's sense of smell was stronger than normal. That he could smell the scent of emotions on a person's skin, and that was at his weakest. So what could he, at the height of his power do now?

Solas found the training difficult at times, he could smell her skin, and the pheromone changes on it. He told himself the same thing she did, that it wasn't for him that she became aroused at the lightest touch, but because she had been without for a year and a half. They had been training for six months, she was becoming almost as good as Andruil at archery, she picked up on it naturally, and he was glad for that. It kept Andruil from hunting the Forgotten Ones, and that kept Andruil sane, she and Tara were becoming close friends, and she helped hide Tara from her brother Falon'Din, who was beginning to covet the girl as his. 

Tara was scared of Falon, she kept it to herself, but she did not want to belong to him, which is what it seemed he wanted. She had avoided him for months with Andruil's help and she was grateful for it.  
“Andruil, 'ma serannas, I cannot seem to shake him by myself.” 

“Don't worry about it,” Andruil smiled, “My brother needs to remember that you are one of us, and Mother claimed you as a daughter, that should mean to him you are off limits. If you need, throw a knife into his knee and run to Uncle, he will protect you from him.” 

Tara's eyes got wide, “I would not wish to disturb him, not as of yet, he is a busy man. And...” she trailed off biting her lip, “He is not for the likes of me. I miss my loves Andruil. Part of me is still empty, and I think it will never be filled.”

Andruil threw her head back and laughed, hugging Tara to her, “Well keep that out of your mind when you go to him for training. I swear, he can smell emotions.” 

Tara swallowed, she had forgotten that, so all the times she... “By the crows!” she exclaimed, making Andruil look at her oddly. “Sometimes when I am training, it causes another reaction, mostly because I have been without for so long, and you are telling me... Oh shit.”

Andruil laughed harder, “That would explain the look on Uncle's face somedays! Brilliant, I need to be there for this. But for now, we go rest, you will hunt with me tomorrow.”

Tara smiled, “You think I am ready?” 

“You walk silently, and your mastery of the bow and throwing knives is almost as good as mine. Yes you are ready.” 

Tara practically danced all the way back to her rooms to prepare for dinner. She was so excited, she didn't know if she could sleep. She opened her locked to look at her lost loves, “Billy, Arik, Cyn, I am hunting with Andruil tomorrow, she says I am ready. I love you and miss you all dearly. Bill,” she stopped sighing, feeling the tears prick the back of her eyes even now, “I will never forget you my love, I will love you forever, in my heart you shall be, as I am to you, you have been to me. My heart and soul do miss you, now that you are gone, but never shall my mind lay fallow, for that is where you live on.” She closed the locket and washed herself, brushing her teeth with an herb paste she had made, and then getting into her nightgown for bed. She sat and brushed her hair, quietly singing to herself, thinking about the next day, and the year and a half she had spent here. She knew something was coming, the Death of Mythal, and Solas' subsequent anger, and so she waited, she would join her family then, she was sure of it. She could be patient.

Part of her was fighting that thought, if she was truly an Evanuris, she would be trapped with the others, that wasn't death, that was being trapped for ever, or until Solas tears down the Veil, and what kind of insanity was that. She fell asleep with these thoughts running through her head, and in her personal space, she ran through the games again. She would do this at least two or three times a week, just to remember. She HAD to remember, because if she was truly an immortal elf, then she needed to KNOW when the times came. She sat in her chair, and fired up her xbox, starting with Origins, as a Dalish she knew this play through, she played it often, with Irosyl the hunter. She watched Tamlin and Irosyl go into the temple, and then played for what seemed like the entire night, complete with Alistair staying a Warden because that was what he wanted, then it shifted and she was Moira Cousland, and Alistair and she became King and Queen, then Cyn Amell, whom he stayed a Warden to be with. 

Solas was watching from the shadows, he watched her do this every time she did. It seemed a ritual to him, she wanted to remember for a reason, and he was fine until she played the third game. That night, she shifted from this one to another, and he watched as a Dalish mage woke in a cell, surrounded by soldiers with swords drawn. Then he watched as she had this character say he would help, and then Cassandra, “Hurry you can hear fighting ahead!” and the response of “Who's fighting.” he watched as she threw this person into the fray, setting barriers on people he didn't know, thinking this is what she would do. Then the character's hand was grabbed and he almost gasped, he heard his own voice answer the question asked. 

He watched as she stopped game play and looked at the image of Solas, she was smiling, then stopped.

“If I stay, I will be trapped and unable to help, if I run.... Solas, falon, I understand I do, but..... I like this you, you are happier, freer, if only you knew.” 

She blanket the image, and faded from her dream, he knew she wasn't waking, that she was cycling letting her mind lay fallow. 

He woke himself with a start, “What was this? And why am I..... This is how she knew and why she said I was bald, and egg head.” 

He laughed, seeing how she knew, but she seemed so sad at the end, and he had no idea what she was talking about, if she stayed she would be trapped. He knew Falon wanted her, and she wanted nothing to do with him, the thought gave him a sense of pride and happiness he had to hide from the others. She was hunting with Andruil tomorrow. He would have time to think without her here. It would be good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'ma serannas - my thanks


	12. Chapter 12

Tara awoke excited, and dressed in her hunting leathers that Andruil had given her, she braided her hair quickly in a simple braid and tied it off with a leather thong. Rinsing her mouth with an herbal rinse, she then looked in the glass.

“It'll do.”

She grabbed fruit and bread for breakfast, and then went to meet Andruil at the meeting spot. She sat down to eat, when she heard a step behind her, standing she turned. 

“Oh hello Solas, I am waiting for Andruil, she is taking me hunting this morning.” 

“About that, Elgar'nan has decreed she is too stay home today, and I am to take you. I wanted to...” he stopped cocking his head to the side, “I wanted to teach you something, if I may?”

Tara nodded her head, looking at him, he seemed off, and she couldn't place her finger on it. He started to walk and she followed folding the last of her breakfast back into the cloth she had brought it out in. He took her to a clearing, one close to where she had been playing with the wolves, he stopped and looked at her, taking off his wolf jaw bone, that he had been wearing since before she had arrived, he handed it to her. Within a few breaths a large black wolf was standing in front of her. 

Tara gasped, “Oh you're beautiful!” she exclaimed, “May I touch you?” she asked shyly.

The wolf nodded, and she reached out her hand to cup his face, she sighed in pleasure, and stroked the side of his face softly. 

“Thank you for showing me this, there is nothing I could say that would express how honored I am.”

Her hand was still on his face when he transformed back into elvhen form, and she quickly pulled back.

“Ir abelas.” 

“Tel'abelas, it is fine.” 

Tara was embarrassed but buried it, she used to cup Bill's face like that and she was beginning to realize that she wanted to show affection to Solas like that but couldn't.

“What are we doing Solas?” 

“I am going to show you how to do that.” 

He grinned at her, watching as her eyes lit up at the thought.

“You want to teach me to be a wolf?” she asked excitedly.

When he nodded she threw her arms around him and kissed his cheek, hugging him tightly to her.

“Thank you!” 

They spent hours, he helped her focus her will, then use that focus. He helped her bring what was inside her out. When he was done, he looked at her and smiled, in front of him was a dove grey smallish wolf, her tongue lolling out of her mouth as she grinned, then threw her head back and howled. He shifted and joined her, and together they ran and hunted that way. After a while, they shifted back, and she hunted the way she would have with Andruil. She and Solas brought the beast back to give to the cooks for dinner, Tara was happier than she had been since she landed in Thedas. She wondered if it was going to last, a large part of her hoped it would.

They got back to the palace, where Dirthamen was waiting for them, a scared and worried look on his face.

“Uncle, Father has gone mad, as has Andruil, they went hunting together, the Forbidden Ones. This is not going to end well.” 

Solas walked to him, “Take me to Mythal.” 

Dirth nodded, looking back at Tara who smiled at him, “It will be fine my friend.” her words didn't match her eyes.

She took the buck to the cooks to skin and cook for dinner, then went to her rooms to bathe, she knew it was coming, but she didn't know how soon. After she was clean, she sat in the middle of her floor. She had found sand she thought usable, and brought it back one day, so now, she used it. She set a circle and called the quarters, then sat to meditate. She needed to know what she should do, about feelings that were growing for Solas, about how she would tell him what Elgar'nan had planned, should she tell him. 

She sat for hours, eyes closed, breathing deepened as her body stayed in the waking and her mind wandered off to the astral, she marveled in some small way that that was still possible here, as this was still a whole world. 

Solas was knocking but no answer, he was getting worried, so he opened her door. He found her still sitting eyes closed, a circle of power around her, and a shimmering golden shield keeping everything out, it was nothing he had ever seen before. He sat across from her, and closed his eyes, trying to reach her. She wasn't anywhere he could find, it was disconcerting, and a little frightening. He opened his eyes and sat watching and waiting. 

They sat like this for two more hours, until finally she smiled, and slowly opened her eyes. 

“Oh. Let me take down the circle and the watchtowers.”

She finished with thanking the powers for coming and guarding her while she meditated, then broke the circle. 

“How long have you been sitting there 'ma'falon?” 

“Not long, watching you helped to calm me. Tara, I need to get you out of here. I need you safe.”

She looked at him, “What is it?” 

Solas shook his head, “I do not know, but something isn't right.”

Suddenly they heard a yell, and felt the flare of magic as someone tried to defend themselves, “MYTHAL!” they both yelled at once, she beat him to it, jumping up and running as fast as she could, shifting to wolf to run faster without a thought. 

She ran into the room and saw her adopted mother laying on the ground still breathing, she turned and lunged at the first person she saw. It was Elgar'nan himself, he blocked her with his shield, then send magic down his blade, she shifted back into her natural form and pushed at him, sending him stumbling back. Solas ran in just in time to see it, and to see Tara pick up a walking stick and spin it, then swing at Andruil who was trying to sneak past her.

“Why sister? Why? Mythal loves you, she loves you all! Why betray her like this?” 

She didn't see Abelas behind her, he who was called something else, but somehow she hadn't met him yet. She yelled something voiceless, the pain of losing someone else she loved coming to the fore. 

“No! NOOOO! Not again--” she switched to English, only Solas had bothered to learn it, “--You will not take another of my family! NOOOO!” 

Solas jumped in to help her, but Elgar'nan was too strong and knocked her out of the way. Tara flew into the wall, her head cracking against it hard. 

“If you would defend her, you will share her fate!” he yelled, pointing his sword at her prone body. 

Solas saw Dirthamen sneak around to where Tara was and he carried her out of the room, then he fought his brother. The two exchanging blows and magic, as Solas tried to shield his friend from the wrath of her husband and sons. Andruil was still out from one of Tara's attacks, but June and Falon were still hale. June snuck behind where his father and uncle were fighting and ran a sword through his mother's chest. Solas felt his best friend die, and howled his pain as he beat his brother back, he fought until there was nothing left in him.

“Solas, josa!” Abelas called as he stepped in front of Elgar'nan, “It is done. My mistress is dead, let me care for her body. Your purpose here is finished.”

Solas ran to where he thought Dirth might have taken Tara, he had almost no magic, but he had enough for what he needed to do, and lyrium near by. He grabbed the lyrium, and his bag, before going to her rooms. Dirth was already packing a bag for her, and setting it up for some servants to take her through the eluvian that would get them to his temple. He was writing a note to his sentinels, telling them who she was and why she was so important, and that they should care for her as they would him.

“To make sure Father has calmed.” he told the servant who nodded, “We will need her soon. She needs to be cared for. Swear it.”

“I swear it Lord Dirthamen, I will watch her, I will care for her, as will my family.” he turned as Solas came in, and dropped to his knee, “My Lord Solas, 'ma'serannas for my family's freedom, we are no longer slaves and have you to thank. I will take her Ser and keep her safe, she needs healing Ser.”

Solas nodded, and downed the lyrium potion he had, then he walked to her.

“Tara, ame eth. Go with Roshan, you will be safe with him. Keep us in your memories as you keep them. I will miss you, my friend.”

He kissed her forehead then sent healing into her, she opened her eyes, and looked at him, his face so close to hers.

“Solas?”

“Vin.”

“Is Mythal...” she couldn't finish, he nodded, the look in his eyes hardening, and she knew her happiness was over. “What of me?”

“Go with Roshan, he will keep you safe, I must end this now.”

She swallowed back the tears, “Solas, I..... I can't lose you too, or Dirth, or Sylaise, Andruil, she is my sister, I can't...” 

The tears started falling, she looked around the room, and noticed Eeyore was gone, she started to panic until Dirth touched her arm.

“He is on the pack I packed for you. I placed a preservation spell on him, I have written for you what you will need to know to survive, Roshan and his family have sworn to aid you. We love you too, but this must be as it is meant to be.”

She hugged Dirthamen hard, “Come with us, do not suffer your family's fate, Sathan, I beg you. Please stay with us!” she cried, and in that moment his decision was made. 

Dirth looked at Solas, “I will stay with her as well Uncle, you get your wish.” 

Solas smiled grimly at them, “Be well, be safe, I will find you both.” he hugged them, and without thinking kissed Tara lightly on the lips, pulling back before she could react. Then he turned, grabbed the bag he had by the door and left, Roshan and Dirth looked at her, and got her up and moving.

“We have to go m'lady”

She nodded, “We need to get all the servants out, now, he has gone... we have some time, Mythal's attendants, her people, the servants, need to run. I know what he plans to do, we have a small amount of time to save who we can. Please. I cannot lose all of you. We need Sylaise too if we can find her.”

She shouldered her bag, her bow, her knives, and her wand/staff, then led the way. She found Abelas with Mythal's body.

“Abelas?” 

He looked up, “That is not my name, but it will be when I leave here, how do I know you?” 

“You don't, I have seen you, a long time ago, be safe, we are getting who we need to out. Solas has gone, Fen'Harel is enacting his revenge, he has gone to Tara'sylan Telas, the innocent need to be evacuated.”

Abelas nodded, and started issuing orders, he looked at who was with her and smiled, “Be well m'lady.” 

“Dareth shiral lethal'lin” 

They got everyone out, and Dirth packed a quick bag for himself, then they ran, but not toward the forest, Dirth took them and Roshan's family, a group of twenty some elves to a room, under the castle, there she saw an eluvian for the first time. He activated it, and bade everyone go through. Before Tara did, she saw another light down the hall, and Solas start to walk through an Eluvian of his own.

“Solas!” she called, he stopped and turned, looking at her a sad smile on his face, “Dream with me, when you are done?” she asked him, knowing he would head to Uthenera. He smiled at her and nodded once, she felt her heart constrict as she saw what was through the eluvian. It was familiar but not in the shape she knew it.

“Tara'sylan Te'las, you go to Tara'sylan Telas Over the Frostbacks, I will find you!” she half whisper shouted. 

Solas' eyes widened, he hadn't told her of his place, his castle, where he helped free the Elvhen from slavery. He nodded, and stepped through, the Eluvian shutting behind him. 

“We have to go NOW!” she told Dirth, who nodded, she ran through the Eluvian into the crossroads, a different set she knew, then followed him through another, into the bright sunlight of a beautiful grassed valley with a river running through it. Dirth watcher her gape at the area, recognition but not on her face as he led them past the Wolf statues and across the river.   
“Your temple, with your priests, and Sentinels.” she said looking at Dirth, he nodded and led them in a back way, down into the bottom of the temple. 

Tara was in awe, by the time the Inquisition happened this place would be flooded, she walked around the halls, in awe, only stopping when he stopped her. He had to unlock the next chamber, and she watched as he did the puzzle, fascinated, memorizing all he did to unlock it. Soon Sentinels came forward, and dropped to their knee, heads bowed.

“My lord Dirthamen, we did not expect you.” the leader said.

“Eola, stand.” he gestured to the others to do the same, “This is Taralani Fen'an and Roshan and his family. We must prepare, the magic that holds this place together will not be so readily available soon.” she looked up at him in shock.

“Fen'Harel, he is..” 

Tara bristled, “Do not call him that. He is my friend, and they deserve no less for what they did to Mamae!” 

She turned and walked away from the scene, she hadn't let herself grieve again, she knew, that given time, if she was truly immortal, then she would see her again. Dirthamen continued to speak to his people, they were standing there when the shock wave of the Veil being erected hit them. She dropped to her knees, clutching her chest, forcing herself to breathe. Whilst the others did the same, she got herself under control first, forcing herself to remember what it was like to live in a world where magic wasn't readily available to everyone all the time.

She looked at Dirth who looked pained, “Are you alright?” she asked him.

Shaking his head, “My brothers, my sisters, my father, all gone. He did it. I knew he would, but I expected to be there with them.” 

Tara walked to him and hugged him, shocking the Sentinels, and she held him while they both cried.

“Dirth, this is the second time I have lost my family, I cannot lose you too.” she mumbled into his shoulder.

He held her tighter, “Uncle would be displeased if anything happened to you.”

They cleaned up what fell when the Veil cut off the magic, and made sure the place was habitable. It took days, but the got living quarters arranged for everyone, Tara played with Roshan's children, and Dirth saw the sadness in her eyes, but didn't know how to help, Roshan and his wife Haleira noticed it as well, and asked him about it.

“My Lord, why does Tara look so sad when she plays with Athera and Athras?”

“You should know, Tara was brought to our world on a whirling wind, she has only been among us for almost two years. Before she was here, on her world she was an older shemlen who was married and had a son and daughter, the storm ripped them from her before bringing her to us. She sees her children in yours, but also is too much of a mother to ignore a child who needs a cuddle or to play.”

Roshan and Haleira both swallowed hard, “My Lord!” Haleira exclaimed “How did she survive?”

Dirthamen smiled at her, “Solas, my Uncle visited her dreams and talked to her, and took my Mother with him. Together they helped her to see that she should keep living, she didn't want to, but we all know how stubborn my Uncle can be.” 

They both nodded, “We will help her Lord, it will not do for her to fall into melancholy.” 

“Indeed Roshan, it would not.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ir abelas - I'm sorry  
> Tel'ableas - do not be sorry  
> 'ma'falon - my friend  
> Josa - run  
> ame eth - be safe  
> Vin - yes  
> Sathan - please  
> Tara'sylan Telas - Sky Hold  
> Dareth Shiral Lethal'lin - safe travels my friend  
> Mamae - Mother


	13. Chapter 13

They got into a routine, she would hunt with one of the sentinels, and bring back food for their clan as she thought of it. She wanted to go to Tarasy'lan Tel'as, she needed to see him even as he would be sleeping. She got one of the sentinels to tell her the password to the eluvians, and the one that would take her there. She nodded, and slipped out during the night, shifting to wolf form and running as fast as she could. She knew that she could use the eluvian, or possibly if she could remember from the game, somehow she could hunt on the way and run to Skyhold. She thought about it and decided that is what she shouldn't do. If he was still awake, she needed to get there quickly to see him. She found the eluvian and transformed back, opening it with the pass code and her touch.

She walked into the crossroads and found the mirror he had walked through, she tried it, and was surprised when it worked, he hadn't changed the code. Walking through she saw someone standing guard, switching back to wolf form she ran past him, hearing him shout she charged through the place she knew from game, but it looked different, very different, but using her sense of smell she traced where he was. She padded through, looking around, sniffing occasionally to get the smells of his people, she saw many here, elves he had freed, and some who acted as his sentinels.

Finally she found the right path, and nudging against the door, she walked in, she saw him, still awake, but weak, telling his followers where to put his foci. She padded silently, keeping to the shadows listening to him talk, it was the same voice from the game, but now he sounded wounded, and so very tired, she wanted to hug him, tell him she understood, and that she would be there for him as he was for her, her friend. 

Finally his people left, and she padded toward him, yipping softly to get his attention, he turned at the sound, she whined at him, he looked so pale and drawn, and walked to him placing her head on his leg. He smiled at her and slowly ran his fingers through her fur behind her ear, she leaned into it.

“Tara?” he asked tentatively.

She shifted back to her elvhen form and stayed leaned against his hand, “Ir abelas, I had to see if you survived, that you were okay. I couldn't lose you too.” she told him not moving from where she was, kneeling in front of him.

He moved his hand and grasped under her arms, pushing her to rise, then when she was standing, he wrapped his arms around her, and held on.

“It is alright, I am glad you are safe, did you all get out?” he asked, she nodded, and he breathed a sigh of relief, “Good. I am glad, where are you staying?”

“The lower levels of Dirthamen's temple, in what will be Dirthavaren, I know not what it is called now.” 

He smiled at her, “You remembered what mirror I went through, and I assume Dirth gave you the key to that one?” she nodded and he smiled, “I am glad to see you, I need to enter Uthenera soon, to rest, and heal. I will see you again, do you know how to enter Uthenera, and what is required?” he asked, she shook her head. He sighed, “It will come in handy, but you are so young you will need an attendant. Ask Dirthamen to teach you, and find someone you can trust.”

She nodded, tears in her eyes, “Dream deep 'ma falon. I will miss you.” 

“Dian, don't cry, please, this is not goodbye.” he brushed the tears from her eyes.

Tara looked at him, and kissed him on the cheek, “Dareth shiral falon. Eras bre.”

“Stay with me until I sleep?” 

“Vin Solas.” 

He lay down on the bed, it was narrow and sparse, and closed his eyes, she held his hand until she felt his relax under hers. Then when she knew he was in Uthenera, she leaned down and kissed him lightly on the lips, “Dream well, my friend, I will always love you.” then she transformed into a wolf and left the room.

“You are Fen'an are you not?” she heard as she exited, she turned, to see a dark haired young elf, she nodded, “I am Felassan, he thought you would come and bade me give you this after he slept. He is in Uthenera now?” she nodded again. 

He held out a wrapped package to her, and she lightly grasped it in her maw, she nodded her thanks, and padded out to where she knew the eluvian waited, before she transformed to go through it, she softly dropped it, and raising her head to the sky she let out a howl of loss. She transformed, picked up the package, and turned to look at the castle, she saw Felassan standing there and nodded once, then turned and activated the eluvian, crossing into the crossroads.

“There you are!” 

“Dirthamen! I needed to see him, ir abelas, I needed to see he was alright, I couldn't.. not again.” she burst into tears.

“Come on lethal'lan, we will go home now, and you can tell me when we get there, alright?” 

She nodded, and followed him to the eluvian that would take them back to his temple. “Dirth, he said I should have you teach me how to enter Uthenera, then find someone I can trust to care for me while I am in it. He said it would be easier for me to sleep through some of the years.”

Dirthamen laughed, “I will teach you, but, you will be needed throughout history.” 

“You see this?” she asked, breathing heavily, he nodded, “Very well. I want to learn as much as I can. I know some, but I want to know it all.”

“I knew I liked you.” he said laughing, “Let me show you my library.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'ma'falon - my friend  
> Dian - stop  
> Era - dream  
> Dareth shiral - safe journeys  
> bre - deep  
> Vin - yes  
> ir abelas - i'm sorry


	14. Chapter 14

They spent years hiding in that temple, Tara learning everything she could from Dirthamen's expansive library, and for a time, the Vir Dirthara, before the lack of magic dove the spirits mad, and even then, she would haunt the now Shattered Library, finding books on her own. Whenever Dithamen, Roshan, Haleira, Athera, or Eola couldn't find her, one or the other would go to the Shattered Library. They would give her days, if not weeks to read and study, then one or the other would go to collect her. 

Roshan found her crying one day, she had found a codex on Fen'Harel, and his underground that saved the elves, which led to a memory codex he had stored in the Vir Dirthara. She had been curious if she could take the codex she had found, so she found a spirit librarian, one who seemed to be still of sound mind to ask.

“May we remove books from the Vir Dithara? To preserve them as the library has fallen?”

“You may Fen'an.”

“Why call me Fen'an, I am Taralani, not Fen'an, though that is part of my name.”

“Fen'an is what Fen'Harel calls you, in his heart, that is who you will always be, Sky child with the soul of a Wolf. He has recorded it here, your coming, and what he saw in your dreams.” 

The spirit had led her to a secret room, and told her the pass key, she used it, and was surrounded by his scent, and his art, and his words. She sat in that room for hours, taking notes, reading, and slowly gathering everything not stuck in place into the bag he had made for her. She calls it “Bag of Holding” from all the D&D games she used to play, or “Mary Poppins' Carpet Bag:”. 

When Roshan found her, she had just finished reading what Solas had seen the day she came to Thedas, what he had witnessed in her dreamscape when he was visiting trying to get her attention. Reading it made her relive it, she found papers with drawings of her, sitting in the garden, reading in the palace library, of her playing with the wolf pups and cuddling the mama. In that moment, she let herself feel what she had been afraid to begin to feel, a love for the Solas she had met, a love that was more than friendship, but was never to be, and it saddened her. 

“My lady, what is wrong?” Roshan asked, sitting next to her, she handed him the book, titled, “The Offworlder's Ordeal” and bade him to read it. It was the first time he had heard the entirety of her origin in Thedas, in Arlathan.   
Tara watched as his eyes grew large as he read the memories of the one who had saved him and his family, Solas' memories of her. When he was done, he closed the book and handed it to her, then drew her into his arms and held her, both of them crying. 

“Da'lan, ir abelas.” he choked out at last, she shook her head, smiling through the tears.

“Roshan, my friend, yes I lost them,” she opened the locket to show him them, and he smiled softly touching the locks of hair inside as well, “It has been a long time now, and still, I miss them, but I have a new family now. I have you, Dirthamen, Eola, Haleira, the children, the other sentinels. Not a day goes by I do not think of them, or dream of them, but, the pain isn't as harsh. Only, the pain of losing Mythal, Sylaise, Andruil, Solas, that is still new and raw. Reading his thoughts and words, seeing his art, my heart broke. Another family ripped from me by the hands of fate, I knew it would happen. I had read about it, heard about it, in my world.”

She took a breath, trying to steady herself, she closed her eyes, missing the knowing look on his face, he unlike Dirth and the others followed her when she went out occasionally, followed her to Tarasy'lan Te'las, saw her change to wolf, and pad to where Solas was sleeping, his attendants used to the wolf that visited now, let her lay her head on his chest and listen to his oh so slow and steady heart beat. She claimed she loved him like a friend, but her actions proved different. He had shared this knowledge with Dirthamen, but Dirthamen only nodded.

“Roshan do not let on that you know, she will close herself off, and she refuses to admit it. He is gone, and no one knows when he will wake, or what his actions will have done to him.” 

Roshan had agreed, and so, he kept it to himself, just letting her cry until she was ready to go back. Tara had the bag with her, everything she found all his memories he had stored before setting the veil, other knowledge she had saved, the crumbling library made her sad. But she was grateful it was not as bad off as it looked in the Trespasser DLC. 

She wondered what year it was, she knew things from the Wiki, and she wanted to save as many as she could from Tevinter, bring them out to the Dales before Arlathan was sunk by the blood mages. 

“Dirthamen, I think we need to go back, to Arlathan. It will be destroyed and many of our people will be made slaves by the Shemlen who are amassing around the Arlathan border. I just don't know when we are.”

He closed his eyes and focused, using his gift to search the timelines and possibilities, he saw the devastation and death she described, and opened his eyes and nodded. She took Roshan, Eola, and Nydharani and together they began the long walk, she realized they had been hiding and in Uthenera for a long time, servants had come and gone that had come with them to the Temple. Those that had, had had children, and their children had children and so on. If it was close to the time of Tevinter sinking Arlathan, then the elves are no longer immortal and it had been almost 2200 years, Roshan and his family had entered Uthenera with them, same with the Sentinels, Dirth and the Sentinels did not need someone to tend them, but Roshan, Haleira, Athras and Athera had, as well as Tara, in the beginning. They were talking about how long it had been, meaning Solas had been asleep all that time as well, and he isn't going to wake until 9:40 or 9:41 depending on when the Corypheus decided to make a play for being a god.

They were all astounded, she explained that a lot of the eluvians had become damaged, possibly on purpose, and that they would have to walk, or find something to ride, also, this was now part of the Tevinter Imperium, and the Arlathan forest where Arlathan was hidden was in the middle. Eola shook her head, indicating that Tara was wrong.

“There is still an active Eluvian, in the forest, it is one of Lord Dirthamen's, he had it hidden in a cave, you can use it to get to Arlathan forest. And we can use it to get as many as we can out before they do what they are planning. There is a tunnel near there that will lead into Solas' study. He and Dirthamen had it planned as an escape route for the slaves that Fen'Harel was freeing.”

Tara laughed, “Sneaky wolf.” she said, “Well guess we will get there faster than I had thought.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> da'lan ir abelas - I am sorry child  
> Vir Dirthara - Shattered Library


	15. Chapter 15

They exited the crossroads in the cave, and Eola lead them to the tunnel. It took a while to clear the entrance, they could hear fighting all around them, and Tara wanted to go help.

“No! You cannot, we are here for one thing, let us do it.” said Roshan.

She nodded, and they continued on their way. Solas' study was buried, they had sacked the royal palace but, they were able to clear it, and enter the city.

When the people saw them, no vallas'lin, they were shocked, they still wore theirs, and prayed to gods that didn't listen. 

“I am Taralina Fen'an! I am here to lead whomever wants to come to safety. If you will follow Roshan, he will show you where you need to go. Please listen, the Shemlen are planning something terrible, we need to evacuate the city now!”

There were gasps and whispers around them, “Fen'an is here, the beloved of Fen'Harel the rebel is here! Daughter of Mythal heard our cries! We are saved!” she heard over and over. It made her swallow hard.

“Nydharani, I never wanted this, I just want to help them.” she said feeling very uncomfortable.

Nydharani laughed, a loud guffaw of a laugh, “You sound like Him now, he didn't want it either, rejected the claim of godhood.” she shook her head, “Come on goddess, lets find more people to save.”

It took hours, but they got all those that would listen, some just sent their children, or the older children grabbed the younger while the stubborn parents refused to leave their homes. Roshan stood by the tunnel, and directed people through it while Eola was on the other side with the eluvian helping them through into the crossroads to wait for the others. They were able to save almost two thirds of the population, Tara wished she could save them all. It took transforming into a wolf, a talent that was lost when Solas set the veil, to convince them of who she was. She stayed in wolf form, letting Nydharani explain to them, she was much bigger than a normal wolf so it didn't take long.

They had followed the last of them to the cave, when Tara felt and odd tingling on her skin, the air felt heavy and she shifted back to elvhen, yelling at the others to get them through now. The last of the citizens they had been able to convince walked into the mirror when the spell was cast. There was a large earthquake, and they could see the spires sinking slowly, and Tara could hear the people's screams. More came running out of the tunnel and she waved at them.  
“Come on! This way, safety is this way, come to Sanctuary.” Tara yelled, she knew the more they could pull through the cave into the eluvian, then the more they would save from slavery to Tevinter. And that was her goal. 

Some of the blood mages ran into the forest looking for people to capture and saw her, she sent fire in their direction, and then a set crushing cage on the one closest to the people still running.

“Prohibere: qui solam relinquit illa, vel ibique moriemini!” she yelled at them in Latin, praying that was the language that was spoken in Tevinter. The men stopped in shock, and stared at her, it gave some more people time to run.

“Quis es tu loqueris ad nos linguae, auris cultro”

“Taralani Fen'an Ego sum, ego sum: et Evanuris, et custodire verba mea populo!” she yelled at them and set an ice wall between them and the rest of those fleeing. She could only protect those coming her way, but she was damned if these Tevinter dogs would enslave them on her watch. 

Nydhani looked at her, mouth agape, “What was that?” 

“Run now, through the eluvian, we will talk later, once we are home safe. We have a lot of people we need to house, and train, they need to know how to fight, so that they can teach others. We have 795 years before anyone will stand up to Tevinter. The people who sunk Arlathan, and enslaved our people. They need to be as good as we are, that starts now, and they pass it down. And we will be there to help them.”

Tara stayed as long as she could, but no one else came out of the tunnel, or the forest. The Tevinters would throw spells at her, mana drain, life drain, but her shields held, and she would counter with crushing cage, and a mana drain of her own. She turned, and bolted through the eluvian, then once inside the crossroads, she deactivated it. She turned and slid down the now sealed mirror and tucked her head between her knees, all those people, the ones she couldn't save, weighed on her, she felt the guilt of the dead and enslaved. She looked up and saw Nydhani looking at her, she stood, and took a breath.

“Go, take them back to Dirth, I have to do something.” 

Nydhani nodded, “You're going to see Him aren't you?” 

“Vin, I know he is so deep in Uthenera he can't hear me, but being near him, talking to him helps.” 

Nydhani nodded, “I will see you at home, should I tell my Lord?” 

“Din.” 

They went their seperate ways. Tara walked the crossroads until she found a mirror that would take her to the one connected to Tarasy'lan Tel'as, she went through it. She saw a field of green and wondered to herself if that would be a good place to put the people, to keep them safe, Fen'Harel's valley. She needed to talk to him, she knew he wouldn't answer, but she needed to try.

She walked through the mirror at the end of the valley, and was greeted by one of Fen'Harel's sentinels.  
“On'dhea ame Tara.” 

“On'dhea, Tara, andaran atishan.” 

She smiled at him, “I am here to see Solas, I know he is asleep, I just need to see him.”

The sentinel shook his head, “Only the Wolf may visit.” 

She smiled, and soon shifted forms, she cocked her head to the side and smiled at him. His eyes grew wide as she transformed back.

“Ame Fen'an, Taralina Fen'an.” 

The sentinel's eyes grew wider, “He spoke of you, before he entered Uthenera.” he said, dropping to one knee, and bowing his head. 

It was Tara's turn to be surprised, “Din, sathan rosaan.” 

She sounded so uncomfortable that he did, “My lady Fen'an, you would like to see him?”

“Vin, it helps to talk, even if he cannot speak back.”

He nodded, and she went inside, she saw more of his servants, two thousand years and this place looked so different already, more of a stone building than a spirred castle. She didn't want to deal with the others, so she shifted again, the noticed the wolf and did nothing, even the newest of his servants knew the tales of the wolf who visited the elf in Uthenera.

She padded down the stairs, using her mouth to turn handles, and wound her way down. 'This is why in game you couldn't go down the Inquisitor's tower, it wasn't irreparable, it is where he lay sleeping for all those years.' she thought to herself. She barked a laugh, 'they will move the mirror down here.' It looked so different, it had been a while since she came sure, about two hundred years, but his main sentinels were old, like him. She still didn't understand why they kept their immortality, why she did, and Roshan and his ilk, the Sentinels. She walked into the room, to see him laying there, unattended, he looked so peaceful, so young, though he was so much older than herself. 

“Hi Solas.” she said softly after transforming back into herself, “I missed you, I miss your wisdom dear friend. I miss your voice, and I really need your help. I couldn't save them all, I tried, but they were stubborn. Arlathan is gone, fallen to human greed and blood magic, our people are once again enslaved, I want to lead the others to the valley. There they can live, and train, and be prepared for what is coming, but I do not know if I am doing the right thing. Solas... for two years, you were a constant in my life, you helped me more than I could ever tell you, you saved me from myself, and I wish I could help you now. Help restore to you what you lost when you set the Veil. You would be able to explain why the sentinels, the family that came with Dirth and I, and Dirth and I were still immortal. Yes we have been entering Uthenera, and every time I wake, the servants are different, gone, and their great grand children tend me. But I am needing tending less and less.”

She stopped, and brushed a bit of dust off his cheek, she started at how still he was, but his skin was still so warm and so soft, “Nydhani is Ena'sal'in'amelan, she has been teaching me. I think I am becoming quite good, working on how you taught me to fight.” She sighed again.

“Solas, I know you won't wake until 9:39, but I think for my sanity this will be my last visit to you. It has already been almost two thousand years, and you will sleep for another thousand, and when you wake, destruction and pain will follow. But I would have you wake to beauty, a gift such as those you have given me.”

She stayed for days not eating, not really sleeping, painting the wall he would see when he woke. She painted the two of them in wolf form running through the trees of the Arlathan forest, she painted flowers and birds, she wrote a poem on the wall in the elvhen script, one she had created for him. Before she left, she placed her head on his chest to hear his oh so slow heart beat, and kissed his forehead, “Sule tael tasalal.” she whispered, then transformed and left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prohibere: qui solam relinquit illa, vel ibique moriemini! - Stop! Leave these people alone or you will die!  
> Quis es tu loqueris ad nos linguae, auris cultro - Who are you to speak our language, Knife ear  
> Taralani Fen'an Ego sum, ego sum: et Evanuris, et custodire verba mea populo! - I am Taralanai Fen'an, I am an Evanuris, and these are my people to protect!  
> On'dhea ame Tara - Good day, I am Tara  
> Andara atishan - welcome to this place of peace  
> Ame - I am  
> Din - no  
> Sathan rosaan - please stand  
> Vin - yes  
> Sule tael tasalal - Until next we meet


	16. Chapter 16

The next few years, after they had moved all the elves from Arlathan to the valley, and the first and second generations had been trained, and told the truth of the Evanuris, Dirthamen changed his name to Isibelavhan, believing it was right for the Evanuris to all be gone from the world. He had entered Uthenera months ago, Roshan and Haleira joining him last week, she was preparing for a long one, she didn't want to be awake until 100 Ancient, she had 600 more years to sleep. Athras and Athera were staying here until their parents awoke, then they would enter Uthenera themselves. She was at the eluvian ready to enter into the crossroads when her lover approached her.

“Tara, vhenan, why?” Sylvas asked for the hundredth time, not understanding why she would prepare for Uthenera.

She touched his face, “Falon, ar lath ma, but, I have to. You knew when we started this, I was not your forever. I have things I have to do, and I need to rest before I do them. I made a promise, I intend to keep it. My people know to wake me when I asked them, when the Alamarri woman marches on those who destroyed our home, we will join her as a people, we will fight them, and we will win. But to lead them to Shartan, I need to sleep.”

“Who is this Shartan? Who are the Alamarri, is this why you have sent spies out into the world?” 

She nodded, “I am doing what I have to Sylvas, just as you must do what you must. When I wake.. gods I will miss you.” 

She kissed him softly, enjoying the feeling of his lips on hers, then hugged him tightly.

“Dareth shiral 'ma lath.” 

She walked into the eluvian with a slight twinge in her chest, she did love him, but not the way he deserved, she didn't think she could love that way, not since Bill, and... She cut that thought off quickly, it was not something she was prepared to admit to herself, and impossible want, an impossible love. He would always love his duty and his purpose more. She knew that, she wished she could love simply again, Sylvas had attracted her, he reminded her of Bill, in the way he acted, how devoted he was to what he believed, his willingness to put love and family first, as well as his temper, his need to protect those he loves. 

She entered into the Temple, and found her nook where she would lay, after exchanging greetings with the servants who were there to care for them, she changed into a white shift and braided her hair back, then lay down and closed her eyes. Part of her brain didn't want to sleep, but the other fought back,she was now on the bed of white, as were Isibelavhan and Roshan, Haleira still needed the herb, water, honey mixture. And the servants would oil their skin to keep them from becoming uncomfortable. As she was falling into Uthenera she heard:

“Hahren na melana sahlin, emma ir abelas, souver'inan isala hamin, vhenan him dor'felas, in'uthenera''na revas. Vir sulahn'nehn, vir dirthera. vir samahl la numin, vir lath sa'vunin” they sang.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> falon -friend  
> ar lath ma- I love you   
> Hahren na melana sahlin, emma ir abelas, souver'inan isala hamin, vhenan him dor'felas, in'uthenera''na revas. Vir sulahn'nehn, vir dirthera. vir samahl la numin, vir lath sa'vunin =elder your time is come, now I am filled with sorrow, weary eyes need resting, heart has become grey and slow, in waking sleep is freedom,  
> we sing, rejoice, we tell the tales, we laugh and cry, we love one more day


	17. Chapter 17

She was awoken by Haleira, who handed her a cup of wine and herbs when she woke up.

“Serannas. What year is it?” 

“Tara, it is as you said, the people known as Alamarri have a queen named Andraste, she is making war against those who killed our people.”

“Has the bald elf named Shartan joined yet?” she asked, Haleira smiled and nodded.

Tara took a deep breath, '-171, here we go, then I go back to sleep until the Dragon Age.' she thought to herself, to Haleira, “Make sure the others are up Isi, Roshan, Nydhani, Eola, Fenlan, all of them. We are going to offer our services to Andraste. Make sure the people know, and any warriors that wish to help may. Go to the Valley, spread the word.”

Haleira nodded, then left. “Gods help me, I am going to war, for a people that aren't even my own, but to seek revenge on those who killed my people.” she shook her head, and started preparing. She went further into the temple to the armory, where her weapons were kept, all of them, including her staff. She still had not opened the gift Solas had left for her all those years ago, she had wrapped it in cloth and placed it with her quiver, which had been a gift from Andruil as well as her bow, the swords came from Solas, they had been his, but he never used them, preferring to study, except when he had to, and then blood was shed. He used a single sword, slightly longer than the two he had given her, their mate, and the thought that he still had it, while she had these, it was a connection of some kind between them, one that couldn't be broken.

“Tara, are you alright?” Roshan asked walking into the room, “You have been in here for a while, just starring at your swords.”

“Roshan did I ever tell you where I got these swords?” 

“No my lady, you never did.”

She sighed at that, “Roshan...” 

“Ir abelas, I forgot.”

“It's alright falon, Solas gave them to me. They were his, part of a set of three, two small swords to compliment one longer one. He kept that one.” her voice trailed off, and she swallowed.

“Tara, you miss him.” a new voice said.  
“Isibela, I did not know you asked to be awoken for this.” she said ignoring what he said.

Isibelavhan sighed, “Will you never admit to yourself how you feel?”

She spun on him then and he could see the pain in her eyes, “Look at your threads haselan, you look and tell me what you see! Tell me that there is a chance, a future! LOOK!”

She watched as his eyes closed and he looked into himself, his ravens, just as immortal as he is perching on his shoulders, beaks against his head as they sifted through it all themselves. His eyes flew open as he saw what she was mentioning, “Oh Solas.”

She nodded, “Is there room for me in that? Or would it be better for me to forget and move on? I will not live heartbroken again, I would rather die Isi, I will not give my heart to the man that he will be when he wakes in this world full of “Tranquil”. 

She turned back around to hide the tears in her eyes, and he walked behind her hugging her, “Ir abelas falon. I saw it, but I also saw something else, with you there, he will walk another path. For you, he will not walk the Din'anshiral, he will find another way.” 

She swallowed, “Isi, I love you, but, you cannot be sure of that. I need to make my own way, and I know what my plans are, I also know his. I saw his once upon a time in another world. His duty will always mean more to him than anyone else.” she smiled, “Besides, there is a Chantry boy waiting to be loved in the year 9:30 Dragon, and though I can't be his forever, due to the Taint, I have loved him for as long as I have loved Solas.”

She watched Isibelavhan's eyes go wide, “Besides, Isi, I have loved many a man, the same way, and seen them all the same way. Only when I saw them, I did not think they were real, and I know now that they are, and the world is. I will never tell HIM, he can never know.” she smiled a sad smile. “Isi, Billy used to tease me, that I loved men I saw on a screen who were made up and not real, he used to laugh that I got wrapped up in these games, for that is what they were. Games that showed me who everyone was, but you, you I knew nothing of. The Dalish I played as, wore your vallas'lin, his people, all that is left of the Elvhen, only knowing parts of their history and language, because of Tevinter. Yes the elves ruined themselves, but with Tevinter enslaving them, they stole their, our culture, starting with language. That is why I saved who I could, we reintroduce the elves to at least their language. And at most, the truth of their past, when I saw, they believed the humans stole their immortality, and that Solas, the Dread Wolf is evil, he is a liar, and a trickster, that is what they translate Harel to mean, not Rebel. Our Rebel Wolf will be vilified, and I do not know if I can stand for that.” 

Isibelavhan put his hand on her shoulder, “I understand falon, I would not want him made into a villain either. We will fix it as we can, what is the purpose of helping this Andraste?” 

“We will not win, but, by helping her, with the enslaved elves, we give our people a new home.”

He stopped her, closing his eyes and searching the threads of time, “We have a home, but only for a time, someone will be needed to help against, WHAT IS THAT?” 

She laughed, “The Blight, caused by the hubris of either Andruil searching out the void, or the 7 Magisters who broke into the Fade, in the names of their dragon gods. It might have been what later peoples will call the Darkspawn. The elves loose their home because the ignore their obligations set forth by Ameridan. The pact they had with his old friend, so when he called for help, they ignored it. Some of our people need to stay in Halamshiral to remind them.”

He looked at her sharply, “You would change what you have seen? You would meddle in the strands of time?” 

“What different is that than Mythal? I learned from the best.”

He hugged her, “Lethal'lan, do not repeat the mistakes of my mother, let them be as they were, I have seen what you saw, and with our people there, we can teach them what they have lost. You can't save everyone da'lan.”

She looked at him, the old sadness in her eyes, “Is this what you were like in your world da'lan? Wanting to save it, and everyone in it?”

“No, not everyone, just, the oppressed, the ones who are thought of as lesser because of skin color, whether or not they were a woman, or they had something wrong, what we called a disability. If they were like me and loved men and women, or a woman who loved women and a man who loved men. Or those born in the wrong skins. Those are the people I try to save, the ones native to the land we lived on who were thought as lesser, the ones who didn't worship the same god, so they didn't have souls.. That is what becomes of our people in the future Isi. And I would prevent that if I could.”

“Things need to happen as they are set.”

“I get it Doctor, fixed point in time.” 

“Doctor? What are you talking about Tara?”

“Never mind Isi, something from home. Let's go gather the people, we are marching on the ones who killed our home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Serannas - thanks  
> Ir abelas - I'm sorry  
> Falon - friend  
> din'anshiral - the path of death


	18. Chapter 18

They approached Andraste's forces cautiously, there were an awful lot of them, and they did not look like slaves, Isi and Tara approached the sentinels at the gates to her stronghold in Nevarra.

“I come to pledge myself and my army to Andraste and her fight against those that would see my people enslaved.” she called out to the guards. 

One of the guards disappeared, they stood there, some two hundred warriors strong, waiting, Tara looked up at the guard tower, she felt someone approaching, and suddenly there stood the most beautiful woman she had ever seen, with hair so red that she looked wreathed in flame in the sun. It took her a minute to recover from the shock, having only ever seen paintings done far after her birth and statues, that did not do her justice. Just as Tara was shaking off the impact of her beauty, she spoke, her voice strong, and lyrical, and it carried.

“Where did two hundred free elves come from?” she asked, “And why would you help us?”

“We have a common enemy. We are the free elves who survived Arlathan. I am Taralani Fen'an, I lead these elves, they are my people as much as the freed slaves in your hold. I would seek vengeance on those who have done my people wrong!” She took a breath, “And, Tevene loquor, dirthan Tavhen, dirthan elvhen, I can teach my people our language, we all can.” 

She watched as Andraste's eyes widened, “You speak their language? How?”

Tara smiled and looked at Isi who nodded slightly, “I have spoken with Dirthamen, he helped me learn, the keeper of secrets, once upon a time walked this world, as did all the Evanuris including Fen'Harel, the Rebel Wolf. You walk in his footsteps Andraste, to free your people, and mine from slavery and destruction.”

A tall bald man appeared next to Andraste on the wall, Tara could see from where she was standing the shock and and a look akin to fear in his eyes, he disappeared again, then the front gates opened and there he stood. He walked forward and then dropped to one knee his hand over his chest. Tara took three steps back, her own eyes wide, and full of shock.

“Why would you kneel to me? I am just an elf, as are you, please stand.” she said, looking around, she looked up at Andraste and saw sympathy in her eyes, “Sathan lethal'len, sathan, dian, sathan.” 

Isi saw her panic and put his hand on her back, “Atisha Tara, he cannot understand you.” 

She nodded, “Please, stand, don't kneel to me, I am no one.” 

“My lady, you are not no one, you are the one who tried to save Arlathan. You saved many of our people, my great great great grandmother was just a child, she ran, away from you, and watched from the forest as you stood against the Tevinters, yelling at them in their own language, swearing you would kill them to protect your people. You are an Evanuris, beloved of Solas, mentored by Mythal, we know who you are Lady.”

She looked at Isi, who shrugged then back at the man, “You know the name Solas? How? He has been gone for a very long time, no one left to speak of him. What is your name?”

“Lady, I am Shartan. And the stories of the woman who came from the wind, the Evanuris who cared, the singing Evanuris are the only one's besides those of Mythal that have survived. We have the names and the duties of the other Evanuris, but your and Mythal's stories are still told, in songs, and a song about a black bird singing has lifted many a heart during our trials.”

She shook her head, “That song is remembered? Oh all the.. and why mine and Mythal's stories? Why not Sylaise, June, Falon'Din? Andruil? Why me? I am nothing but a girl. You Shartan, you are the leader of the elves in this army, we would fight under your command. You are the leader, you and Andraste, that is why we came to you.” she in turn took a knee, right hand crossed across her chest, hand in a fist, head bowed to show respect, and every elf behind her did the same thing. 

Andraste watching from above stood straighter, her shoulders back, while her husband, Maferath watched from the side, he was proud of his wife, but also, he should be the one the men listened to, not her. Shartan stood and looked out at the sea of elves, all dressed in armor and looking intimidating, bowing to him and Andraste, and felt pride swell in his ches. Tara was right, he was the general of the elven army, and if She was bowing to him, letting him lead, then he would do so to the best of his ability, if not better. 

“Stand, all of you, and enter, please, join us, we accept your aide.” he said, before turning and opening the gates. They followed him in, and looked around, this human city was a lot different than the Valley where they lived and trained, and though they were all very well trained, mages and warriors alike, with no few Arcane Warriors, they had never actually fought a war before, a lot were scared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> loquor - speak  
> Dirthan - I speak  
> Tavhen - Tevene  
> Sathan - please  
> Dian - stop  
> Lethal'len - cousin


	19. Chapter 19

They marched on the Teviners in the South, fighting battle after battle, Tara and the mages healing those who needed it, and singing for those who died. They would return to Andraste's stronghold, and plan, Shartan and Andraste seeking her knowledge and aid, while she honestly told them she didn't know much of tactics, that was her husband, may his soul rest forever in peace. Not that they believed her. She called in Isi, and he helped with the planning more than she did. Tara introduced to them a kind of guerilla war fare, small groups hitting hard and fast in the night, smiling to herself she remembered the Jaws of Hakkon DLC, 'This is a raid, we go in lightly armored and fast on our feet' she thought, or something like that. 

Andraste smiled upon hearing that, “We can have smaller groups attack the outposts, they can move faster, and hit harder?” she asked, finally.

“Vin, the smaller groups are less likely to be detected, we have been teaching those with the talent, how to control their magic, and those with the aptitude how to be an Arcane Warrior, if we have at least one mage per group, they can suppress the magisters' magic long enough to take down their defenses.”

The skirmishes started within a week, Tara herself going out on some, as well as Isi, she talked to Shartan, sent runners to other outposts with orders from Andraste, and taught those who wanted to learn the language, including the humans who asked, some of her people were angered at this, but as she told them, “how can you foster friendship without trust.” It took some time, but soon trust and friendship fostered between the races in Nevarra. 

It wasn't long before tragedy struck, Maferath betrayed Andraste, and helped sneak in disguised Tevinter troops. They attacked, and Tara and the others still at the Keep fought hard, Tara got knocked out by well placed blow to the head, when she awoke, she was surrounded by dead humans and elves, and Andraste was gone. She sat up and healed the back of her head, as well as put her left shoulder back into joint and healed it, then got up and started organizing the dead for burial rites, as well as retrieving mementos for their families. She sketched faces as she remembered them, and put the mementos with the sketches. That was where Isi found her, he came back from a scouting mission with Roshan, and Shartan, they walked into the courtyard to find her setting up pyres and starting to prepare the bodies, they all three silently joined in, Isi trying to ignore the bruising evident through the tear in her clothing and the blood matting her hair.

She stopped suddenly and shook her head, Roshan noticed she was crying, then he saw why, one of the bodies she had been laying out was a boy of just 10, with sandy brown hair and hazel eyes, he watched his friend touch the boy's face as she cleaned his body, so gently. 

“My lady, you see your children in his face, you still miss them.” he said finally quietly so that Shartan wouldn't hear. 

“Ah, Roshan, is it that obvious?”

“Only to a parent my lady, only to a parent.”

She wiped her eyes and Isi came to take over, “Tara, lethal'lan, go rest. Take a bath, then we need to see what we can do to save Andraste.” 

“Isi, LOOK, you will see what is happening.” 

“Fenedhis!” he exclaimed after opening his eyes, “We will be too late?” 

“We will but we can save her ashes, it will be needed. We also need to strike while they think they have us beaten back, Aeonar and Ostagar both, we need to send forces to both places at once. Where these men do their magical experiments. If we attack them while they think they have won...” she stopped, “We really need to take these places from the Imperium, Isi, they need to know they are vulnerable.” she looked away, at the body of the boy, and the other children who were laying covered in shrowds already, whist their burial site was being prepared. “They need to know they are as vulnerable as these babies were.”

The attacks went off without any problem, the mages at Aeonar were in the Fade when Andraste's forces attacked, all but one, and he was easily dispatched. They sent messages back to Shartan, Tara, and Isi that Aeonar was captured. Ostagar was harder, they lost a lot of good people sacking that place, and the reports said that something called the Tower of Ishal was flooded with magic and demons.

“Wait, the Tower of Ishal?” Tara asked the scout reading the missive.

“Yes ma'am, that is what it is called.” 

She shook her head, well that explains that, she thought to herself thinking about Origins, and how the darkspawn tunneled specifically under that tower. The veil must be very thin there. It took her a minute to realize the scout was still talking, and she shook her head, “Ir abelas, I was distracted.” 

He smiled, “It's alright ma'am, we received news from some of our people who followed the Tevinters when they took Andraste, all they had to do was follow her hound.” he stopped, taking a breath, “They had to stop him from leapin' on the fire ma'am, he was trying to get to her. He bit quite a few soldiers who tried to stop him too.” he laughed at that one. “The Archon took pity and ran her through ma'am so she didn't suffer too long.”

Tara nodded, “But she did suffer, poor girl. She was so brave, and strong. And her words will be remembered, albeit, not correctly.”

“What ma'am?”

“Never mind Harold, I am just maudlin'” 

She sat down to write letters to each of the generals who took Ostagar and Aeonar, wanting to congratulate them on their victories, ask for the names of the fallen, and to ask them if they had mages with them to try and clear the places of the magister's influences. It took hours to get what she wanted to say said, and when she put the quill down she stretched and realized the candle was a stub. Rubbing the back of her neck she stood, and went to find food.

As she walked toward the mess hall, she realized that she was alone, and it was very dark, until she got to the main courtyard, and there she saw the pyres, Isi and Roshan were standing with the others, scouts, soldiers, and civilians, as the first of the pyres was lit from the main bonfire. She stood back watching until one of the children saw her, and walked over grabbing her hand.

“Come 'Ara, they call you 'Ara, come say goodbye, we love you 'Ara they say.”

“Honey do you hear the spirits as they leave the bodies?” she asked, they had waited three days at her request, that was a firmly held belief, that it took three days for the soul to move on from the body, before burning them. 

“Vin “'Ara, they sit above the bodies, they watch me. They know I can see, they know I can hear, so they ask me to bring you.”

“Okay Silea, let's go.” 

Together they walked forward, Tara stopping to look at the bodies of her friends, the children, all of them. Even the fallen Tevinters had been burned elsewhere, but rites were given to their bodies. The others all looked at her as she and the child approached, watched her say goodbye again to each face before kissing the children's foreheads and covering their faces. Isi watched the air above the bodies, and the child, Silea closely as the child whispered to Tara, and Tara nodded back saying something not quite audible to the rest of those gathered to the body of the fallen one in front of her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vin = yes  
> Lethal'lan - cousin  
> Ir abelas - I'm sorry


	20. Chapter 20

The funeral pyres burned for days, until all their dead had been laid to rest, Isi, Roshan, Haleira, Nydharani, and Tara all took time away from everyone else. Those who had followed the Blades of Hessarian when they took Andraste, came back with terrifying tales of what they had done to her, the torture they had inflicted before Hessarian had ordered her place on the stake. And even then the story of how she stood silent as the flames licked at her clothing and skin, her armor replaced by slaves rags, how not until the end did she make a noise, and how her dog, her mabari had tried to climb onto the pyre to save her, only to be stopped by someone grabbing his collar. Tara's eyes filled with tears at that, and then she began to cry as the scouts told her that the mabari pulled away and bit a soldier or three before diving into the fire to get to his mistress, how he gnawed at the ropes as the fire licked at them both, and then Hessarian seeing that the spectacle was not what those in Tevinter wanted, took one of his Blade's swords and ran her through. Only because he saw how disgusted his people were, not out of mercy or penance.

Tara shook her head at that, the Chantry definitely was going to get it wrong. “What about her mabari?” she asked afraid of the answer.

One scout left the room and came back with another and a stretcher laid between them, she held her breath as her eyes took in the badly burned dog.

“Oh, fenor.” she cooed at him, his eyes opened and he looked at her, she slowly brought her hand to him, “Take him to my rooms, I will treat him, and hopefully, he can heal, both body and soul” She went to gather the herbs she would need to make the salves, and then she washed linens to tear and use as bandages, she knew in her heart that with his bonded dead, he might not make it, but, damned if she wasn't going to give him a chance. 

She spend days with the hound, caring for him, treating his burns and the cuts on his body from the Tevinters' swords, then once his body was healed, using medicine and magic, she lay with him, petting him softly, grieving with him. She realized, as she was won't to do, she had always loved this dog, he was smart and handsome, and fierce in battle. She made him a bed, and slept with him on the floor willing him to live. She told him of Bill, of Arik and Cyn, and how she still missed them though it had been thousands of years. Of how she watched her babies being ripped from her after her bondmate was. She introduced him to the Eeyore she still had, thanks to the preservation spell that Dirthaman had place on it all those years ago, renewed by her as needed having since learned the spell. She sang him the songs she had sung her babies, the memories still so sharp and clear, and she sang to him the Elvhen songs that Lahnehn had taught her, she told him stories of how hard it was to want to live again, after they were gone. 

Unbeknownst to her and to the dog, whom she only ever called Fenor, the children and some of the soldiers and scouts sat outside her door listening to her songs and her stories of her family and her world, now lost to her. The stories spread, each person telling another, until Tara was known throughout the armies of Andraste, as sent to aid them, and the elves of Arlathan that came before. Here were some who's grandparents grandparents told stories of the blond elvhen woman who came to warn them of the humans that would destroy Arlathan, and in those stories, and the ones told by Tara to Fenor, they recognized that woman, the one that was said to be the beloved of Fen'Harel himself. She looked lonely, and those that heard her speak of her family still heard heartbreak in her voice, they marveled that she went on. 

Tara had gone to get Fenor and herself food from the kitchens and heard a child singing “A dream is a wish your heart makes, when you're fast asleep. In dreams you can lose your heartache, whatever you wish for you keep. Make way for your dreams and someday, a rainbow will come shining through. No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, the dream that you wish, will come true.” 

She stood back to watch, then the child turned to her mother, “Is that true Mama? Can dreams come true?” 

“Yes da'lan, dreams can come true, if you wish hard enough and work hard enough in equal measure. Look at our dream, to be free, it is happening. Not without trouble, but it is happening.”

Tara was taken aback, she hadn't realized people were listening to her talking to Fenor, and for a moment, she was a little afraid, then she remembered, it would be a while until the Chantry, and their dogma that anything or one other is evil and should be destroyed. 

She took a breath and walked into the room that the child had been singing in, “On'dhea da'lan, you sing beautifully.”

“Oh! Lady Tara!” the mother exclaimed.

“Fiona, it is fine, I promise, I am just Tara, just a mom like you. Just a woman who wants the world to be better than it is.”

“Yes m'lady.”

“NO!” she took a breath, “I mean, no please, do not call me m'lady. I didn't realize that everyone could hear me talking to Fenor, please, do not think it makes me special. I am just a mama who lost everything she held dear. I am nothing worth worshiping, think of Andraste, and her vision for us, she is someone worthy of hero worship, not I.” 

Isi, Roshan, and Nydharani were walking into the room as she said this, they looked at each other and shook their heads, “Tara, lethal'lan, how is Fenor?” Isi asked.

“He is good, hungry, I was on my way to the kitchens to see if there was meat, he needs meat to regain his strength.”

“Tara, he wants food, is wanting to eat?” asked Brian, one of the humans who was in the army.

“Yes, he does. Why do you ask?” 

“Tara, mabari will die when their bonded die, if he has started to eat, and show emotion, he may have rebonded.”

“Rebonded? I didn't know that was possible.”

“It is rare m'lady. Usually their old masters in Tevinter would slaughter them before giving them a chance, the breed as a whole defected to our side ten years ago.”

“Well they are the smartest dogs I have ever had the blessed fortune to meet.”

She bade them her farewells and went to see what was in the kitchens, she persuaded the cooks to let her have one of the large bones and some of the entrails of the beast the hunters had brought in, as well as a good hunk of steak, and wrapped it up to take back to Fenor. He was pacing in the room waiting for her, and when he saw her he barked loudly.

“Oh hush you, I brought you food.” Tara laughed as he danced around and she set his food down in a bowl she had found, “There you go boy, eat up.” She talked to him as he ate, his head occasionally cocking to the side as if in question, “No Fenor, that is for you, I will get something later.” She scratched behind his ear, and then slowly, without realizing how tired she was, she fell asleep leaning against the wall next to him. 

She woke up the next day, in bed, still dressed but her foot wraps removed, “Fenor?” she called, and breathed sigh when she saw his head poke up over the edge of the bed, “There you are falon, who put me to bed boy? Was it Isi?” he shook his head, “Nydharani?” again he shook, “Who then?” she finally asked, just then there was a knock on her door, “Enter.” 

“Ah Tara you are awake.” Shartan said as he walked in the room, she smiled happy to see her friend, “To answer your question, it was I who put you to bed. I came in to talk to you, and Aatu pulled me to where you had falled asleep. You have healed him well, Tara, and it seems he has chosen you.” he smiled at that, “Andraste would be happy to know you took care of her beloved mabari. She liked you Tara, and thought of you as a sister.” 

“I loved her too Shartan, still do, I miss her. Are you alright, they had taken you too.”

“I am fine, your, what did you call them? Gorilla force of elves freed me, killing quite a few Blades while they were at it. I do not think the Tevinters were expecting a fluid mix of blade and magic. It helped throw them off so I could escape with your men.” 

She smiled to hear that, “I was hoping to save both of you... That is what I trained them for. It isn't their fault that they got there too late. The spies we had in the Imperium told me that they had tortured her. Did they...?” she couldn't finish the question, she wanted to know, but didn't want to pry. “I can heal anything they did Shartan, I would be proud to.”

Shartan leaned down to where she was sitting and kissed her cheek, “'Ma serannas 'ma falon” 

“'Ma neral.”

They smiled at each other, before Shartan cleared his throat and stepped back, “I will leave you to get ready, see you when you break your fast?” he asked her.

“Vin, I will see you in a while.” he nodded and took his leave, she looked at Fenor, “Falon, why is it I attract bald elves?” she asked, “Or am attracted to them? Have you really bonded with me?” he woofed in agreement, “Well that tears it, no more Uthenera for me, I get to wander the world for almost 800 years, we need to find you a mate, so I can have a companion for years.” she laughed at that, “Gives me a chance to learn the world, I will not be like Solas, I will not sleep so long the world is no longer recognizable.”

Isi walked in, “'Ma falon, what is it?” 

“Tara, can you do it? 800 years is a long time to go without a break, I thought the plan was to go back to sleep, until needed.” 

“Isi, Dirth, I am needed.” she said pointing at Fenor, “I can't leave him.” Isi shook his head, and smiled.

“You never could leave a pup stranded, not even Uncle.”

She swatted his arm, “I care for Solas, but never mistake him for a stray pup, besides, there will never be an us. I know this, and I am okay with it. He has his life and his plans, I will have mine.” 

They left the room arm in arm and went to find food, she did after all promise to see Shartan at breakfast, where he went to the kitchens and brought her back a plate. He had a napkin over it so she never saw it until he placed it in front of her, she watched as he pulled the napkin off and in front of her was something that looked like a cheesecake, with caramel and chocolate swirled into it, she gasped.

“Isi?” 

“Tara it has been years since the wind brought you to us, but this is the day we all think of as your birthday.”

“My birthday is the 18th day of Matrinalis, I...”

“That was before, now it is the day you came to us. Uncle had mentioned it before everything..” he trailed off, he knew what he was doing, he did not want to close her heart to Solas, but keep it open. Dirth/Isi knew that if they were too keep the world safe, find a safe way to tear back down the veil, then she needed to be there for him, with him, showing him that those who lived now were people too.

“Solas..” her voice trailed off, she wasn't paying attention to the tone, but everyone in the room caught it, including Shartan, who's head hung for an instant. Isi smiled at the tone, she could fight it all she wanted to, but for a year, the only contact she had had was Mythal and Solas, and then they stole time together to just talk in the following years. She thought it was for his knowledge, and he was an admirable teacher, but, Isi knew there was something there on both their parts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fenor - a term of endearment, little wolfling, small or wolf like  
> da'lan - little one, child  
> 'ma serannas - my thanks  
> 'ma neral - my pleasure  
> Matranalis - the month of Sept in the Tevene Calendar


	21. Chapter 21

The next few years saw everyone continuing the fight, at some point, Isi, Roshan, Haleira, Nydhanai, and Tara left, the battles were less intense, it was on the heels of the first ever blight, and they were winning. She had imparted all her skill with healing to any and all that listened.

She separated from the others, only Fenor accompanying her, she packed a small bag, taking with her her lute, some clothes, her bow, her swords, and her wand/staff. She knew that if Isi really wanted to find her, he could, but she also knew he would understand. Her objective was to know Thedas, to learn all the languages, she would learn the songs of every people, she would be a wandering minstrel and healer, only free to use magic in Rivain.

The next 800 of years she wandered, always with a mabari at her side, which made bandits less likely to attack, the wild ones always found her, at one point, she had a wolf and a mabari, and the two were best friends. After the fall of the Dales, she started covering her ears, hiding who and what she is, all the while secretly helping the elves in the alienages, supplying food and healing, without being seen.

Tales started to spread, the elven angel some where calling her, she hid from it, much as she had hidden from my lady in the past. She took to drawing, and in all the time she wandered, she became adept at being able to make drawing look like photographs from home. She drew portraits for people, charging the human Orlesians one price and the elves another, the humans paid in coin, the elves, told stories, taught her their recipes.

Even among the Dalish she was known. She was known for not being Dalish or City, and one of the few non marked Elvhen that didn't get called “Flat ear.” And they knew not to call any elf that around her. She made friends with the Ha'hren, and Keepers of every clan, telling her stories, having kept them all straight by writing them in books she had bound herself. She shared them with the Keepers, the stories of the Elvhen she had known, and occasionally she would find the descendant of someone from the Valley. And they knew her on site, though she had never met them. Their families kept tales of her, the woman who saved them all from Arlathan, as the Tevinters destroyed their home.

She heard stories about their families, some integrating in with the Dalish and some moving into the cities, while even more decided to live out side the cities in rural areas and have farms. She laughed and cried at the stories, and found out the Valley was empty, they had all decided to rejoin the rest of the world, a lot moving to Dirthavaren, she cringed at that, wanting to ask but not wanting how many died in the Exalted March. 

Tara, traveled everywhere, until finally she caught news of the blight, and headed to Lothering, the nearest to Ostagar and the Wilds, only about 4 days away. She started to offer her healing services to all the refugees, hunted for food, and told stories. She met Leliana when she went to the Chantry to ask if maybe some of the children could come to services, seeing as they were elves, and she loved the girl instantly. There was the sweet innocent girl from Origins, who really wasn't innocent, but was at peace. There too she met Leandra and Bethany Hawke, and she smiled when they introduced themselves. Poor Bethany shooting glances around at everyone, marking where all the Templars were, no staff to be seen. She did what she could, helping where she could, but watched so many die, she was reminded of fighting against the Imperium. She had lived through four blights so far, mostly by avoiding them, but she had had encounters with darkspawn before. Tara was staying for now, for as long as she could, and she had her wolf with her, which frightened the Templars so badly they never checked to see if she were a mage, which suited her just fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this one is kind of a cliff hanger, it leads into what I am calling in my head Book 2. Still have to come up with a title. Yes we are headed into Game territory and not just my own private head cannon. Hope you guys liked it. Please leave comments, kudos, or whatever. Let me know you read it.

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize for the pain in the beginning, killed me to write it, but it sets her up, and later choices are made due to this event. All Elvhen will be translated at the end of each chapter. 
> 
> Hope you like it.


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